Nault's Nook

a very eventful week

2012-01-21T20:32:00.000-06:00

Well, well, where to start?

Maybe with the fact that we had to go to the ER this week for this little guy:

Notice the black staining? Yeah. Since all the boys have been really sick this week, I would go and check on them before I went to bed. Well this night I noticed EJ had black snot all over his face. I quickly ran to google and searched what could cause that and lets just stay do not google it! I was terrified of rare fungal infections in immune compromised people! Anyway, I ran back to EJ to suction his nose with the bulb syringe. I needed a sample and I wanted him to breathe better. (Totally realize I sound crazy at this point!)
So nothing is coming out at all at this point. Then he sneezed and a black bean flew out. Yes. A black bean.
Apparently black beans are for more than eating.

So I wake him up to look in his little nose and it is full of beans! I tried gently to get some out but I couldn't. So I called Childrens and they said to bring him in. In the middle of the night. With all the sick kids. Awesome.

Needless to say we were in and out in an hour and a half and there were four beans total. EJ said he felt much better afterwards and that he would not stick beans up his nose. Well lets just say we will be avoiding all small round foods for awhile ;)

As far as the sickies go, they are still here. I though EJ was finally getting better (his cough and stomach issues are gone at least) but today his nose was a faucet again. Austins too. He stayed home all week but should be well enough by monday.

And Matthew is the worst of all. Poor baby has finished his course of pred and antibiotics but still needs the nebulizer ever four hours. His wheezing is only a little bit better and it has been five days. Sometimes he has episodes where he is retracting and it scares me. Plus his nose is still so congested that it makes it hard to nurse. But his appetite is up and he is a little better. It is just one long drawn out bug I suppose. Goodness knows we have seen the pediatrician enough!

On a good note Matthew sits totally unsupported now for as long as he wants. He isn't wobbly at all and can sit so well! I can't believe how big he is now. He is also doing better in the car a bit. This is such a relief!! He still prefers when we don't stop (lol) but as long as we are going he is fine now.

We are working with some serious attachment issues but I can I just say, thank goodness for the ergo! He screams when I put him down and leave for a second. If I put him down I have to be right there playing with him. Not folding clothes or doing something else. I have to be making eye contact and talking and playing. If not he has to be in the Ergo. He absolutely will not self soothe or play/observe on his own right now. Maybe because he is sick? Hopefully it will get better soon as 8 hours in the Ergo hurts!

EJ is a little cutie right now. He talks and talks and says the absolute cutest things. His voice is at that precious stage and he cracks me up daily. Tonight we were eating dinner and he actually ate bread sticks dipped in olive oil and spices and then a whole plate of asparagus! This is super adventurous for him! And then he wanted to "do cheers, mommy"! So we tapped our glasses and said cheers between every drink. Such a precious boy!

This picture cracks me up!!! Super blurry (I know, they all are) but really shows my life right now!
I love how Austin is always peaking in expecting to be missing out on the action :) Oh and can I just say, that boy is GROWING by leaps and bounds! Two pants sizes this fall/winter! I look at him and all of a sudden he looks like a big kid. I can not believe my first baby is now so big! Crazy!

And yay! We will be moving soon! You will be hearing that more and more as the day approaches!

bad to worse and a winner!

2012-01-17T17:53:00.005-06:00

First of all I want to say congrats to our My Memories winner, Shannon! Emailed you :)

Also we are really struggling right now with this bug. Matthew is so sick, EJ is still sick, and Austin had to stay home from school today. We had to run to the doctors this morning as Matthew was struggling to breathe. When we got there he was still wheezing and his oxygen saturation was low. He is now on prednisone, azithromycin, and a nebulizer treatment every two hours. Really hoping this passes quickly!

a very video weekend!

2012-01-15T19:49:00.000-06:00

The sickies have finally claimed 4 out of the 5 of us. So far, thank the Lord, I have not gotten it. I am praying this continues as it is mighty hard to take care of little sickies (and an adult) when you are sick as well! EJ is still on the prednisone and nebulizer as his bug is lingering. Not unusual for him since he will always be a bit more prone to illness. Sweet Matthew, who I was really hoping wouldn't get sick, started feeling badly yesterday. Today he has a very congested nose, bad cough, and a fever. Since he is only 5 months old I cant give him any medicine either. It breaks my heart to see them sick. Hopefully they can sleep tonight and get some much needed rest.
So since we are not going to be doing anything this holiday weekend, I though it would be a great time to share some videos of the boys! This is mostly for Grandma :) In the videos you get to preview EJ's musical genius, a hint of Austin's attitude, and Matthew loving some food (before we took a break from solids). Enjoy!

Also, can I just say how excited I am to be moving in less than a month! Please pray we find the right house, and that the process goes smoothly! Thank you so much!! :)

winter bugs

2012-01-11T22:13:00.003-06:00

Well we have our first real winter bug. We have been lucky to avoid them so far. EJ has croup now and has had a rough time breathing. We got to get a new nebulizer though, and EJ doesn't mind it at all thankfully. I think it helps that he gets candy afterward as a reward :). Now the prednisone that tastes horrid? That is another story! Here is a picture of him at the Drs office this morning.

Matthew has been doing so well lately! He started saying "da-da" now! If you say it first he loves to say it back :) He is also sitting up for a couple minutes (still wobbly) and rolling all over. We started on solids and he loved it! However it was upsetting his stomach and we had a couple rough nights. By rough I mean up every 30 minutes to an hour ALL night. So we will try it again in a month and take it really slowly! Not worried about his intake though as he is over 20 pounds now. He is one big boy!

Here are some catch up daily pictures (I finally took them off my iphone :).

Snoozing in the car!

Munching on bananas!

Nebulizer time! And yes my house is almost always covered in toys. :)

daily baby

2012-01-09T21:39:00.000-06:00

Joining the 365 crowd and taking pictures everyday! Here is my little cutie today! And a very rare moment of sleep :)

new year goals and a bit of Christmas!

2012-01-06T22:01:00.001-06:00

So one goal I have for this new year is to better document our life. The boys are growing and changing so quickly and I have not been doing a great job of capturing all these memories. So my main goal is to take pictures several times a week and video of each boy several times a month. Other goals include drinking more water, cooking almost every meal with my crockpot, and just being the best mom and wife I can be. And although I am not in control of this, I am really hoping for a calm year of health and prosperity. Not too much to ask right? :)

Well Texas has been having crazy weather the past couple years and this winter is no exception. It has been GORGEOUS out this week. It was high 60s today! So we took the boys to the park and had the best time.

Here are some other pictures from this week!

Life has been quite wild lately in that EJ has finally hit that "stage" that some children reach around two :) I refuse to call it terrible as he is anything but terrible. However, he has been a bit more difficult recently! The tiniest thing can set him off. Fixing his collar, giving him a kiss, cutting his strawberries the wrong way. You get the idea! Matthew is still in a really needy stage too where he has to be held all day or he screams. He has now added "not sleeping" to his agenda this month. Good times! Add in a sprinkle of 6 year old attitude and you have my life! Ha! But it is wonderful, really! I wouldn't trade these boys for anything!

Also, I realize I never posted any Christmas posts! The boys had a BLAST. We were blessed this Christmas, and the boys got a lot of great things. The main gift this year was a new kitten for Austin. She is a ragdoll/siamese mix named Sophie and she is just precious. She literally just goes limp when you hold her and loves attention and loves snuggles. She is the absolute sweetest. You can see her toward the end of the video below. She lives at Adam's right now but as soon as we move I will take lots of pictures! I have a ton of videos of Christmas morning, but they take forever to upload, so I will be posting them here and there until I get them all up. I love children just make Christmas magical all over again :)

family days!

2012-01-02T22:56:00.000-06:00

Today was a day filled with family. Sisiters, aunts, uncles, grandmas, children, and cousins! Thank you for letting me snap a few pictures sweet cousins! :)

Family days are the best days!

when dinos attack!

2011-12-30T18:38:00.001-06:00

I think it is safe to say that we don't get out much right now. In fact the only time I leave the house is to pick up Austin from school or to go grocery shopping. We are in a difficult phase right now with Matthew and he hates riding in the car. I think I can actually hear him saying "I am literally going to die if you do not remove me from this restraint device right now woman!!!!" Then EJ gets going because he is upset Matthew is crying. Vicious circle I say! So we are camping out at home these days :)

However one of EJ's FAVORITE things are dinosaurs. He loves them. We all needed some outdoor time desperately, so we decided to go to a local museum that has a dinosaur exhibit. The weather was awesome today (high 60's) and it was beautiful out. We all had a fabulous time and the fresh air felt so good.

So here are pics of two of my monkeys and their new dino pals! We will definitely be going back!

FIVE months!!!! (and some ej)

2011-12-28T15:42:00.000-06:00

Ho Ho Ho, How about a great giveaway!!!

2011-12-22T12:58:00.002-06:00

So I have to share something fabulous with you all! We all know blogging is fantastic and a wonderful way to help document our lives and to record memories. Nothing could be more important to me than recording this precious time with my boys. They grow and change so quickly! I blink and they have grown :)
I know a lot of you can relate to that!

Well a company called My Memories contacted me, and I was instantly in love!

I started scrap booking when Austin was born but shamefully I never even finished his scrapbook, let alone start one for the other boys. But digital scrap booking I can do!! But I will warn you, it is addicting! My Memories has some of the best software for digi scrap booking and it does everything for you! Designing layouts, picking fun embellishments, adding your own pictures and text. Seriously the possibilities are endless. They have fab freebies and even a forum!

If you have never used digi scrap software before, do not fear! I jumped right in without even reading any tutorials and could find my way around!

You can use this software to make scrapbook pages, photo albums, gift tags, and blog headers like I did! Really anything you can dream of, you can make!

I love that it is versatile and fun. It is a fast and beautiful way to personalize and document your life!

As a super busy mom, I value my time greatly. Personally, I love digital scrap booking because I can stop and start pages, work in little 5 minute spurts, and I never have to clean up or make sure the scissors are put away :) It really is the best of both worlds.

I encourage you to go over to My Memories and look around at all the great things they have!

The best part? I am giving away an entire My Memories Suite to one lucky winner! This has everything you need to get started!

**In addition to this all my readers can get $10 dollars off the My Memories Suite Software and a $10 coupon to use on the site, by using the code STMMMS79345 !**

To enter to win your very own Suite, all you have to do is go to My Memories and leave a comment telling me your favorite scrap booking kit!

If you want extra entries, you are in luck! Just leave a separate comment for each of the following. (So a total of up to 5 comments, and 5 entries)

1. Follow my blog with google friend connect

2. Follow me on Twitter

3. Follow My Memories on Twitter

4. Friend My Memories on Facebook

Contest ends January 15, 2012 at 12:00pm. Good luck!!

Merry Christmas Everyone and a Happy Holiday!!!

Thank you to My Memories for providing the My Memories Suite for review and for sponsoring this great giveaway!! Although item for review was provided, all opinions in this review are my own.

Life is a blur (literally)

2011-12-21T13:35:00.000-06:00

Some random blurry iphone pics from this week :)

Someone needs a hair cut really badly!! He is still so cute even with crazy hair though :)

This kid also has ca-razy curly hair!

I got bangs! Seeing as how hair cuts are scarce around here, it is a big deal!

Love how Austin ALWAYS cuts my head off in pics. I love looking through the eyes of a little one.

Matthew is big! He is 20 pounds and in a 12 month sleeper in this pic. He also drools all.the.time! Getting so big!!

Hope you all are having a great Christmas week!!

4 months! (very late)

2011-12-14T22:39:00.001-06:00

Although I am really late posting these, I did take these when you turned four months! :)

I love your chubby hands

and your cheeks

and oh my word, those kissy lips

and of course your baby blues

Yes oh yes I love you!!!
Your naps are getting much better when you can actually take them (when ej doesn't wake you up lol) but night time sleep has gotten much worse. Instead of doing a seven hour stretch I am lucky if I get a 3-4 hour stretch. You also are waking up during the night and not wanting to go back to sleep. Mommy is very very tired and the house is pretty much always messy. You still dislike the car and scream when we go pick up Austin from school. You nurse well but you are really wanting to eat food now. You dive bomb everything I am eating! Santa is bringing you rice cereal! :)
You are 20 pounds now and wearing 12 month onsies, In separates you can still get by with 9 and 9-12 month. You are on the largest setting on most your diapers now too.You are my big big boy!!!
As far as your personality goes, you are extremely demanding. You get bored very easily and will scream until I entertain you. You know how to make a mommy work! You love snuggles and you love being tickled. Your favorite things are diaper changes and when we sing the itsy bitsy spider. You do not like you excersaucer and being put down!
We have some rough days but I wouldn't trade them. I just love you so very much!

redeemed and reborn. Amazing what nine months can do.

2011-12-06T21:52:00.001-06:00

Nine months. I have been a single mom for nine extremely long months. Hard months. Breaking months. Building, humbling months. Months of me surviving and failing. Hard, hard months. The physical and emotional difficulties of being a single mom to three boys is indescribable. It is absolutely maddening and shattering. Some of it has been hell on earth for me. Honestly. But some of it? Some of it has been God breathed grace. God given strength and peace beyond belief. And learning and growing and a lot, a lot of refining.

Refining hurts. Big time.

God has shown me so much about myself in the last nine months. Like my very own rebirth, I am finally coming through this new. Changed. I am no longer blinded to the fact that I am terribly far from the person God wants me to be. The wife God wants me to be. And most especially the mother I am suppose to be. The friend and servant I am suppose to be. In pretty much every area. And that hurts to realize but it is also wonderful. Because I want to be better. And I am working on it and God has shown me things I never knew about myself or about Him. He has taught me much in these nine months. And I am so thankful.

And now I get to put them to practice.

Adam and I are back together and are committed to making our marriage work. We aren't living together again yet but can't wait to actually make that part final. My lease is up end of January so we will be moving then.

I didn't blog much about our separation and that was intentional. But I want to say this, there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that can't be redeemed. When we first separated I gave our marriage to God and asked Him to protect it, rebuild it, redeem it. And He has. To watch everything unfold has been incredible. If we are willing, truly willing, to let God restore an area of our lives, I believe HE will. And He has in my marriage. And He has is in my life.

Refining is painful sometimes beyond words, but I stay true to my belief in river rocks. It takes such a force, such bumps and scrapes, to make us smooth and more like Jesus. So here I am. I have a long ways to go, we have a long way to go, but I am ready. Whatever it takes.

Thank you all for walking this journey with me and being so very supportive. It simply means the world.

I feel like after being told for years to "be still", I am finally, finally being told "it is time, my child, it is time". And I am so ready.

Santa the Scary :)

2011-11-26T20:23:00.001-06:00

And a rather hilarious picture if I do say so! It was so freezing outside and the temp dropped suddenly so we were way under dressed. The boys were ready to head home ha!

So excited that it is Christmas time!! Yay!

broken (miscarriage)

2011-11-14T19:58:00.001-06:00

I consider myself strong. Capable of weathering all that this earth can crash upon me.

My life has been much like an ocean. Waves, ebbing and flowing.
Just as a wave will fill every nook and crack as it seeks the shore, so does this life. Echoing into every inch of us, changing us, eroding us, exposing us. Washing over us unceasingly. Life, indeed, is much like an ocean. And a rather unfair one if I do say so myself.

Blogging is a great form of escape. Smiling faces, clean homes, well mannered kiddos. Just hop on Pinterest and it is a world full of bright and shiny. It can make a grilled cheese sandwich look like the best thing on earth.

And honestly I am so grateful for the bright and shiny. For the everyday normal moments. For the smiles and fresh baked cookies. For the hope and promise and especially for the forgiveness. I am so thankful for the waves that bring refreshment and peace. For the waves that bring love and family. For the waves that bring bounty.

But what about the moments, days, years, that the waves bring pain. When all that washes ashore is loss, tears, death, poverty. What of those?

Tonight I mourn for a friend whose baby boy was taken far too soon. The aftermath of a loss like that rings so strongly that it is hard to breathe. I hate it.

Call me vulnerable, but this has hit a spot in my heart that I have been trying to heal. I am so blessed, so blessed to have my three boys. Words can't express the joy they bring and the thankfulness that I have in every breathe just for the opportunity to be their mom. I love them and they are the reason I have survived some of this life's hardest times. They are the beacons that bring me back.

But I am here to say, that the pain is still there. It still hurts. It still lingers after all these years. It may not wash over me every day or even every week like it once did. But when it does, it breaks me. Because I miss him. That sweet baby, who I am thankful for having the honor of knowing if only for a very brief time. For seeing him alive. For being given the gift of seeing his heart beating. For life. And for the inconceivable pain when his heart was still. Motionless on the grey screen. November 11, 2008 was his due date. He would be three now. And I let myself wonder what he would have looked like.
Then I look down and see EJ asleep in my lap. Knowing he wouldn't be here if Max was. I can't really explain what that feels like. An ache and a joy intertwined. An ache for the loss, and joy for the gift that is in my lap. And the one in his bunk, and the one in his crib. I have lost much, but have gained more. But it still hurts.

I hurt for all six of my babies that left my womb much too soon. And I ache for the emptiness that my friend now carries.

I don't have the answers, or the ability to attempt to justify why babies die.

But I trust. I have faith. I know He can fill the emptiness. Maybe not in the way we want as humans, but in the way that does bring sweet comfort and does bring glory. I will say it a thousand times, not only for you, but for me. His strength is sufficient. He does sustain. When life crashes, He carries.

The storms of this life will pass. They will. And when they do, the coming sunrise will be more brilliant because of them. The air crisp and the land washed clean. It is coming friends. It is coming.

Matthew is 3 months (and a half!)

2011-11-08T15:12:00.000-06:00

Well I am finally doing his three months post! He has changed so much this month.

For starters, he was able to come off the zantac. His reflux is much, much better! We also found out he is allergic to both milk protein and eggs. So lucky for me, I get to avoid all those foods since I am nursing :)

He is sleeping so much better now. He actually does really well in his crib. He takes two long naps (morning and afternoon) and a short evening one as well. The times that he takes these vary as does the length of his naps.

Bedtime is around 7 and he now usually sleeps till 1 or 2 am before waking up to eat again. He usually wakes up about three times a night.

He is nursing great and gaining TONS of weight. He is just under 17 pounds now. He is 93rd for length and 97th percentile for weight. He is in 9 month clothing but can wear a few 6 months and our pjs are 12 month to fit over the night time diaper.

He is so happy now and talks and talks and smiles all the time. He still doesn't like to be put down though and still hates the car.

His hair is falling out like crazy and his eyes are still really blue. I cant wait to see what they will end up being!

I know babies don't usually teethe this early but this boy drools like crazy and is always chewing on his hands! He loves tummy time and his newborn fuzz is finally falling out.

He is just so sweet and I love him like crazy.
Oh and look at this! I definitely things he looks so much like Ej did at this age!!

2011-11-01T11:56:00.000-05:00

Up up and away! I love this time of year. I truly do. One of my favorite things is seeing all of the hot air balloons flying around.

Our pumpkin! Adam did a great job! The boys are BIG star wars fans. Here is "Master Wuda" as Ej would say!

And here are the boys and I. My Spartan, firefighter, and puppy :)

After we stopped by some family to say hi, we met up with Adam and went trick or treating with some friends. Austin and EJ had so much fun. Ej would run right up and say "trick or treat" and then "thank you!". And of course spending time with good friends is always nice. Matthew didn't hit the streets with us this year as it was his bed time. So he stayed at the house and helped hand out candy :) That was my very first time leaving him. We were only a block away and gone about an hour but it was nice to be able to just hang out with the older boys. Balancing the needs of all three seems to be the hardest part for me. I know it will get better though as Matthew gets a bit older and we get a better routine. Right now his routine is completely off due to his reflux and stomach issues. We found out he is allergic to eggs and dairy and if I only eat something with a trace of them he gets a horrible rash and has horrible stomach issues. So no Halloween candy for me!! Today we are laying low due to a very very late night and watching Harry Potter and cleaning. Maybe some pumpkin muffins too!

(I am so late for Matthew's three month photo shoot but he has been so under the weather the past two weeks. Hopefully tomorrow I can get them finished!)

Hope you all a spook-tacular Halloween too!!!!

ready for my close up

2011-10-23T13:06:00.001-05:00

just a quick reminder!

2011-10-23T13:00:00.000-05:00

Matthew is 12 weeks old :)

just me and my monkey

2011-10-12T21:59:00.001-05:00

Well my little monkey has changed a lot in the past few weeks. Not only has he become more independent and more mischievous, but he has become quite the artist. And the world (or our home) is his canvas. Yes indeed, the walls and our couch are all sporting his works of art. But who am I to stand in the way of art :) Thank goodness for washable markers and scrubbable crayons.

just wanted to share

2011-10-05T20:38:00.003-05:00

Austin's school picture. My big 1st grader!

So handsome but definitely inherited his mommas chapped lips :)

Happy TWO months Matthew!

2011-09-27T12:12:00.000-05:00

Sweet baby boy you are two months old today!!! I cannot believe it! You are growing so big and starting to get a bit of a personality now. You are sleeping so much better and take really good naps in your crib. You take a nap every day at 10am and sleep about 2- 3 hours. Then you take another nap in the afternoon in the ergo :)

You start off in your bed every night and sleep from 7pm until 11-12. You are very demanding about your bed time. You have to go to sleep by 7 every night! After you wake at 11 you eat every couple of hours until about 6am. Then a tiny nap at 8 and then your long one at 10. I am so proud of you!

You are starting to coo now and will talk and talk. You also smile every day at me. You love getting your diaper changed and you love baths (as long as they are under 5 minutes ha!). You wear size 6 month clothing (some 3-6 months fit still) and are no longer on the newborn snap on any of your diapers.

You eat really well but you swallow a ton of air when you nurse. Your reflux is still really bad but as long as I don't miss a dose of medicine you are fine! You still hate the car but are starting to cry less when in your seat.

Also you hit a milestone this last weekend! You can now roll over! You have done it twice now. Mommies strong boy! Words can not express how much I love you. You are such a gift and I am thankful for you each and every day. I can not believe I am so blessed to be able to call you mine.

Oh and it is worth noting that you still have your newborn fuzzies. I think the hair on your ears and shoulders is so precious. You are also still really rashy but we are keeping it under control.
Two sweet wonderful months. Oh how I love you little one!

fall is here!!!

2011-09-24T10:17:00.004-05:00

We have had a busy week but my favorite part was probably yesterday. The first day of fall started off with a little marathon for our big first grader! The "fun run" event was to raise money for his school and every student participated. There goal was 30 laps (in an hour) and Austin did 40! They were so precious and really resembled a giant stampede. EJ just watched but really wanted to join in and Matthew slept in the ergo. I was so excited that I actually brought my camera to take some pics. Well, I forgot my cf card. I tell you my brain has gone missing these days! I did snap a few with my iphone.

After picking Austin up from school we decided to go to the park since the weather has been so nice. The boys enjoyed it but I couldn't believe Austin still had energy! Matthew slept the whole time (again) in the ergo. That boy loves to be worn!

Charge!!

Afer the park we went home and had the typical crazy evening :)
Today, Austin and I both woke up with colds. Tis the season. Our playdate has been cancelled and we will just be hanging out around the house getting better.
Also, I wanted to add that Matthew is now 8 weeks old. Can not believe it! He goes three hours between feeds and is a happy baby but demands to be held while he is awake. Another needy one will fit right in ha! I will try to do a picture/update post for him this week.
Enjoy the first weekend of fall everyone!!

quiet reflections

2011-09-19T21:57:00.000-05:00

September brings so many things.
September 23rd will bring fall and a new crispness to life.
September brings 9/11, something we will never ever forget.
September 17th brings the joy of new life as on that day 7 years ago I found out I was pregnant with Austin.
September 29th is Adam's birthday. He will be entering a new decade this birthday.
September 19th brings great loss. This day 12 years ago my father took his life. This day 4 years ago I laid on a hospital bed losing yet another baby.
So much loss and so much life all in one little month. It is hard to process.
September is a very heavy month for me. It is amazing how mourning and joy are woven together into one. How life is this constant mix of both. How we are all a mix of both.
So today I reflected on all these things and let each memory settle deeply. What is life if not an ebbing and flowing?
Tonight I am grateful for all that has been, is, and is yet to come. Tonight I am grateful for tender friends and loving family. Tonight I will simply be still and know that He is who he says He is.

i capture

2011-09-19T20:45:00.004-05:00

just some iphone pics... :)

life is a blur

2011-09-18T12:43:00.001-05:00

Time is changing, weather cooling, and light dimming. Fall is almost here and boy are my boys growing :)

Love his chubby cheeks, baby blues, and whispy hair!!!

This picture shows EJ so accurately. This kid LOVES life!

Austin is electrocuting EJ :) Don't ask!

Ummm....no explanation here. Austin is my silly one though! Always crazy!

RRRR matey! Sorry couldn't resist!

Love these boys!
Oh and can I just say photographing kiddos at 1/15 second is HARD. "Someone" needs a prime lens so I can shoot in low light :) Well any excuse for new photo equipment is a good one!

A happy labor day and a very smiley baby! (a very random post!)

2011-09-06T11:22:00.000-05:00

We had a rough week last week with Matthew and had some colic that was just awful. He would start screaming at about 2pm and it would continue till about 9pm when we finally went to bed. It was exhausting and I felt just horrible for Matthew. Since I have already eliminated almost everything from my diet, I knew it was something else. He has been throwing up a lot and choking a lot, so we started him back on the zantac and within 24 hours there was a complete change. He hasn't had one fussy evening since starting the zantac! He is on a good schedule now too where he wakes up around 7 and then I change him and feed and he goes back to sleep off and on till about 9. He is awake for maybe an hour and then he eats again and takes his long morning nap from 10 till about 12:30.

Then he wakes up for lunch, eats, and goes back to sleep for a couple hours. Then around 5 he wakes up for the evening and just looks around and watches everything. He usually stays awake till 7 when he goes to bed. He still wakes up a ton at night but goes right back to sleep so I am not complaining!

Our labor day was nice. We spent it outside since it was the most amazing weather we have had in probably 6 months! It was in the high 70's and literally felt like heaven to me. We spent the day as a family at the park and then I ended it grocery shopping :) The best part? These adorable melt-my-heart smiles that I caught on camera! He smiled for the first time on sunday so monday I was determined to catch one! They are really blurry as I couldnt look through the camera to focus because I had to look at Matthew and talk and smile at him to get him to smile back. I am just so thankful I managaed to get a few. He is such a sweet happy baby now. Loves to snuggle his mommy and loves to eat. He is in 6 month clothing now and is a serious chunk!

I had my 6 week postpartum appointment this morning and they were cracking up and his rolls. He loves to eat :) Also I am down 30 pounds and have 10 more to go. I have a lot of work to do in regards to strengthening and toning but as of this weekend I can fit into my big jeans. Barely :) But I wore them and it felt amaxing to wear something other than maternity. I have a feeling it will take me quite a while to get back to what I was. This boy did me in but he is worth every inch.

Also this post is completely filled with super long run on sentences. I offer no aplogies :)
Hope you all had a wonderful labor day and are enjoying this 4 day week!!!

let them be little

2011-08-31T11:57:00.000-05:00

I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand.
You felt so good in it; no bigger than a minute.
How it amazes me you're changin' with every blink.
Faster than a flower blooms, they grow up all too soon.

So let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give 'em hope, give them praise,
Give them love every day.

Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

I never felt so much in one little tender touch.
I live for those kisses, your prayers an' your wishes.
An' now you're teachin' me how only a child can see.
Tonight, while we're on our knees, all I ask is:

Please, let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give them praise,
Give them love every day.

Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

The so innocent, precious soul:
You turn around, an' it's time to let them go.

So let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give 'em praise,
Give them love every day.

Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let them sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

Let them be little.

Happy 5 weeks sweet sweet Matthew Ryan. I can not believe it! He is now outgrowing his 3 month clothing. My little chunky monkey!! And oh my word, the looks these littles can give. I may be in for it :)

Matthew: ONE month!!

2011-08-29T09:41:00.002-05:00

So my sweet tiny squishy is now one month old! I don't really know how that is possible!

Right now he has one or two alert times of the day but still sleeps the majority of the time. He is up every 2 hours at night. I don't mind at all though. This stage passes so quickly and I truly want to savor every second. Even the times that include screaming and middle of the night feedings. All too soon he will join his brothers in growing up way to fast...

He is a champion nurser and can finish a feeding in 5 minutes. He is growing A LOT. We are already in 3 month and some 3-6 month clothing. He is a serious little chunker :) His colic issues are getting much better and now as long as I am holding him he is happy as a lark. No screaming at all unless I put him down. Just look at the pics! ha! He loves the ergo but doesn't love the car that much. If I time it right and feed him right before we go and he is sleepy, he does great in the car. I cant always do that though and we pay for it!!

A week ago he had an allergic reaction to something and broke out in hives. Since then he has had allergic dermatitis on his face, ears, and scalp. It is getting much better but he is super sensitive (just like ej). I cant eat any dairy at all, fresh veggies, or anything with spices. Basically I eat oatmeal for breakfast, a pb&j for lunch, and a grilled piece of meat with only salt and maybe some steamed carrots and fresh fruit for dinner. That is it, literally. It is not fun but it is worth it to me and I did it once before with ej so I was more prepared this time.

He also has reflux but we are off the zantac as that was one of the things bothering him I think.

As big as he is, he is still so tiny too. He still has his newborn fuzz all over and his sweet little feet could just kill me. So.stinkin.cute! His eyes are still bright blue and his hair is coming in blonde. I still can't tell yet who he will favor more but I am leaning toward ej still. And my favorite thing are his noises. He is so noisy all the time. Who knew grunts and squeaks could sound so darn cute!? All in all things are going really well and I just pray that I can somehow lock away each moment in my memory. Knowing he is my last just somehow makes everything more precious. He was meant to be a part of our family but I still feel as if he is such a gift. Another sweet little miracle. So so grateful for these three boys!!!

(a picture from his newborn shoot with ej giving a quick kiss...melts my heart)

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

fresh

2011-08-22T12:52:00.000-05:00

Clean clothes laid out the night before, a home made lunch packed away for later, a sleepy little one with crazy bed head, another sleepy little one who is very cranky, and yet another little one who is very hungry. Warm cinnamon raisin bread for breakfast eaten in a hurry, one mama who really really would love a shower (but wont get one today), one car full of car seats and little ones, and one fresh new beginning for us all!

Today was Austin's first day of first grade! It was also his first day of public school. It was also NOT the first day I have cried over my beautiful boys. I am a wreck today. I miss my big 6 year old like crazy and can not believe he will be gone for 7 hours every day. I am not a fan people....

I worry about him getting lost in the hallway walking to class. I seriously have visions of him lost and crying. I have mentioned that anxiety and I am BFFs right? Yes? Okay then.
They let you walk them in to the class the first day but that is it. I have to drop him off outside of the school from now on and he has to find his way.....without me. Without me. He is embarking on this whole new journey of life without me. Okay I need more Kleenex....brb.....
Seriously all. This.is.so.hard.for.me.
I just want to scoop him up and keep him with me forever. Adam calls me a helicopter mom. I guess I am. I am just crazy in love with my boys and want to protect them and just enjoy life with them always.
I know it will get easier but today it is not. My baby is growing up and he is not a baby anymore. He is a big 6 year old boy. Still feels like yesterday though that I learned I was pregnant with him. That I saw him on the ultrasound screen, that he was born all fuzzy and new and I got to hold him and take in the smell of him. I just know that was yesterday.
Whew okay....
Here are some pictures of my big boy on his first day...

You see is the second pic how EJ is off to the side crying? Yeah he was the cranky one! He was screaming hysterically the whole way to the classroom to drop Austin off. It was one of those really humbling mommy moments. He was tired, sad as he didn't want Austin to go, and scared that he was getting dropped off. Not the first day I had envisioned but that is life with many littles :) After drop off there was a flag ceremony where all the students came out and we watched them raise the flag and sing and say the pledge. Austin couldn't see me as there was a huge crowd but I could see him! He stayed right by the teacher lol. That is my boy. He was so brave this morning and gave me a kiss and went right in to class. Melts my heart. I know he will do great. I have no doubt about that. And we will all adjust to the new schedule too. Although WHOA Matthew was up every 30 minutes last night (his reflux is so bad thank goodness we are starting zantac today!). Mommy is tired!

So after sleeping in every day over the summer, it will be be good to get on a routine. At least I hope :)

It is a fresh new start for us all. Up next? Fall. Oh yes please!

just a little thumb sucking video :)

2011-08-08T12:52:00.000-05:00

None of my boys have been thumb or paci lovers. Matthew, however, will suck on anything that gets near his mouth be it a thumb or a paci, or his whole hand! He is 12 days old and I just want to pause time. I want to enjoy every second of this little one while I can. They just grow way too fast!!

Matthew's newborn pictures! (picture overload)

2011-08-06T19:00:00.002-05:00

the many faces of Matthew!

2011-08-02T16:29:00.000-05:00

I can't believe six whole days have already come and gone! Sweet sweet baby please don't grow up as fast as your brothers have!

And a couple fun ones :)

Oh and I tried to shoot his newborn pics today (the two above were us warming up) but...well....lets just say poop happens. And lots of it :) We will try again tomorrow!

Introducing Matthew Ryan

2011-08-01T15:18:00.001-05:00

Well I thought I would finally share our newest little man and how he made his debut :)
Thursday 7/27 we got to the hospital at 5am and they started pitocin. I had been having contractions regularly for weeks and my body was ready. I was already a 3 when we got there and having contractions. At around noon my doctor came in and checked me (still a 3 ha!) and then broke my water. This is pretty typical of my previous inductions and I knew at that point things would get harder. They did :) After about 30-45 minutes or so I was able to get my epidural and then tried to relax. The epidural was great and this time was the first time I was ever given a pump that I could control. I thought that was the greatest. Pretty quickly though I realized something had changed and my pain was very diffferent. Thinking I had lots of time as I was just a 3 (and both Austin and EJ weren't born till the night of their inductions), I just tried to rest. Matthew had been tolerating labor well but now was having some decels and the alarms kept going off. They came in and gave me oxygen and said that based on the monitor I could be complete. They checked me and I was! I could not believe it went that quickly. I knew the pain had changed! Knowing how quickly I push, they scrambled to get my OB and told me to wait. My epidural was a light one and that was the worst pain for me. Needing to push but not being able to. I had to hold that way for 15 minutes and finally my Dr was there. Only pushed a couple times and sweet, big, Matthew was born! He was born at 2:54 weighing 8lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. He has blue eyes and medium brown hair and I am completely in love! He seriously has the biggest cheeks imaginable!

When Matthew was born we noticed he had blisters all over and at first were really concerned. The pediatrician on call though said it was nothing to worry about and it was pustular melanosis and would resolve on its own. He is still really rashy but it is slowly getting better. So if you notice anything in his pictures that is what it is! Right after birth he also had some issues holding his temp and some problems breathing. They ended up keeping him in the nursery that day and over night but he was back with us in the morning. We were both able to go home after only 24 hours. Since then he is nursing great and we are fine tuning that latch. He does not like to open wide! He has also been on meds for staph and a double eye infection but stopped all that last night. Now today I noticed some white patches in his mouth and am pretty sure it is thrush. Waiting on the Dr to call back with nystatin. Hoping now he can get a little break and just focus on regaining his birth weight! Im just so happy and grateful for a healthy boy despite some minor issues. Here are some pictures of the first couple days!
Proud Daddy

Chunky Cheeks :)

Going home!

Meeting the boys!

3 days old

4 days old

And today at 5 days old. He has already changed so much!!

I am just so in love with this little precious boy. He is such a gift and such a blessing. Words can not describe how I feel. A mom of three boys. Perfection.

Here are some fun videos I thought I would share!

Labor :)

Adam and Matthew. A fathers love...

Matthew meeting the boys for the first time.

Thank you all for all the positive thoughts and prayers along the way. Just so over the moon in love!

countdown to Matthew!

2011-07-19T18:01:00.000-05:00

There are six and a half weeks until September which will bring much needed relief to the blistering hot 100's of the Texas summer.

There are 5 weeks until Austin starts the first grade.

There are three and a half weeks until this summer session is over for me and 6 weeks until my fall semester starts.

I have been pregnant now for 37 weeks.

There is only one week until sweet Matthew makes his debut into the world.

ONE WEEK PEOPLE. Then I get to see this face in person :)

Today we had an ultrasound and he is measuring 8lbs 2oz and we got to see lots of practice breathing. He is head down but sunny side up still. He really likes this position! Also she has one heck of a time getting these pictures as he is deeply nestled into my placenta and won't budge. Already a stubborn one, ha! The tech said he favors Ej and I have to agree. We will see though. In one week. ONE WEEK.

Sweet Matthew we are almost ready for you. Can not believe 9 months went by this quickly. Time surely does fly. I love you little boy and can't wait to meet you!

Also, I will spare you a belly picture. I have gained 40 pounds and it is just scary at this point! No need to scare anyone!

a little glimpse

2011-07-03T13:06:00.002-05:00

I have two papers due by tonight so I am busy working on those and Adam has the boys for the day. I am rocking in the rocking chair that I had to move in front of the computer. The other chair was not cutting it! And when you look like this:

It is hard to get comfy! Matthew is still safe inside and wiggling up a storm today. He really likes my ribs. Really.

I can not believe in 3.5 weeks I will be holding him on the outside. Looking into his eyes for the first time. I just can't believe it.

We are ready for him as I have officially finished baby prep 2011. Crazy!

And he has the hiccups right now as I type :)

Funny how God works and how everything comes full circle. How when we think we are at our limit, we get pushed over the edge and get to experience a whole new level of growth.

School is going alright. Stressful sometimes, but going. I finish up this first session on the 8th and then the second summer session begins the 12th. Then Matthew will come the 27th. All in a days work ;)

Okay well it is back to work for me. Tomorrow I don't have school and will enjoy a wonderful 4th with my family. So thankful.

Hope you all have a happy 4th of July!!

brotherly love

2011-06-29T11:36:00.002-05:00

And the smallest brother at 34 weeks! Only 4 more weeks until there are THREE brothers. Then my heart just may explode....

summer sun

2011-06-10T18:22:00.002-05:00

We spent a wonderful day today playing in my aunt's back yard. I am so truly blessed to have my family near by and for them to be so supportive and caring. We had a great playdate and can't wait to go back!
On the drive to her house, EJ was repeating "biscuit!" from the back seat. That is their beagle and he loves her. He will take any opportunity to go see Biscuit!
So with a healthy dose of sun, water, and their favorite pupp, I think it was a perfect day.

I know I say it a lot, but I can not imagine my life without these two. I love them so much that I could burst.

there are these arms....

2011-06-06T10:06:00.003-05:00

All weekend I have been so stressed out and just overwhelmed with anxiety. I looked up my class syllabus online Saturday, and immediately started crying. Dramatic? Maybe. But everything just hit me a bit harder. I let it get to me, that is something I am very prone to do. Anxiety and I are long term BFF's apparently.

It is so easy to lose sight of what is important and to let the things of each day wear us down. To get caught up in all the responsibilities and all the mundane. Sometimes when you are in the mess of it, all you see is the mess instead of the goal. These days I have felt knee deep. All I have been asking myself this weekend, is how in the world can I do this? It is not possible!! I am already spread so thin that I can't possibly take this on. Maybe you know that feeling too?

I am now 8 months pregnant with another sweet baby boy. I am getting bigger and things are getting much much harder. I am having bouts of contractions every day and my sciatic is really bad. It is a constant reminder of the blessing that I am carrying around inside right now. A blessing that will no doubt rock our world next month. My class work load this summer is heavy and there is a reason it is called "full time". Whoa.

I have been barely floating by these days, and now these changes are finally here. No more putting it off. (Did I also mention that I am also BFFs with procrastination, or maybe denial. Probably both! Fantastic :)

So today, (the first day of class), I was fully expecting to wake up in a panic and was dreading it. But I didn't. There is peace here today. Patience and love. I wasn't expecting it and I don't know why I haven't learned yet. I know these arms. I know their reach. Why do I doubt?

There are different seasons in our life that push and challenge us. Those are the seasons where we grow the most. I know this season won't be an easy one, but I will embrace it and I will trust. We will make it through this and will come out better for it. But worry and doubt and anxiety? They only take away from the miracle, from the joy. They steal gratitude and I will no longer allow that.

And there is a lot to be said about being busy! Idle hands are never a good thing after all. Plus, my type A personality is taking over. I already have my list and am ready to go. But maybe that is not the point I am trying to make! That's for another post.

Anyway, I wanted to say that whatever you are facing, and maybe even dreading, you can do it because you are not alone. There are these hands and they have a way of carrying things, including you, especially you.

This is a song that I LOVE that I wanted to share. God truly is in all seasons of life. So thankful for an ever present God.

bees, my belly, and the cutest little boys ever

2011-06-02T10:38:00.003-05:00

We ended up having a really great Memorial day! We grilled at Adam's place and had steaks, corn, and potato salad. We also had chips with guacamole (my favorite!), queso, veggie tray, fruit with fruit dip, and strawberry short cake for dessert! I really love food these days as you will get to see in my belly picture! :)

Yesterday the boys and I decided to go out and play on the trail with side walk chalk. It was blistering hot but we had fun. After we came in, a bee that had hitched a ride in my shirt, stung me. I just had been stung a couple weeks ago and had a severe reaction so this time I drove straight to the Dr. By the time I got there I couldn't even breathe, but after a shot of epi and some meds, I was good as new. Now I have to carry around an epi pen and pray the bees stay away from me! But the trip was worth it since I got some cute photos of my boys!

I try to take them somewhere everyday as we tend to get cabin fever. It is getting more and more difficult though as the weather heats up and as I get bigger. My sciatic and round ligament pain is pretty bad these days. I only have eight more weeks though! Yikes! My summer classes start on monday and I am trying to get everything finished before then. Matthew's clothes, bedding, and diapers are all washed and ready. I think I am just about finished with Matthew prep! Just have to knock off a couple more things on my to do list.

Oh and I have to share!!!!! Ej is fully weaned! It has been 2 weeks now and he is doing so great. He doesn't even ask anymore and since he has weaned he has been sleeping through the night for the first time ever. It only took 28 months! Now if only I could sleep through the night, Ha!

Also ECI came yesterday and EJ was evaluated to see if he needs therapy. He is about a year behind emotionally and in speech. Cognitive and physical development is only a few months behind. Basically, they think all the delay is due to his medical issues and the year he was very sick. No long term cause and no autism diagnosis. Basically, none of the news was surprising to me. I knew he was a little behind in speech and in emotional development. However I am relieved to hear that they believe he will completely catch up in 6 months-to a year! He starts therapy next week and will have it every other week. With everything that could have been, I praise God for what is!

This is turning out to be a longer post that I anticipated, so I will just share my big ole 30 week belly and leave you with that scary image! Have a wonderful rest of the week!!

memorial day

2011-05-30T11:08:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to stop by and say thank you to everyone who serves and makes our freedom possible. Without you, we wouldn't have all that we do. You sacrifice everything and I am grateful!

Hope you all enjoy a day of remembrance and family. Happy Memorial Day!

winner winner chicken dinner :)

2011-05-24T11:33:00.002-05:00

Congrats to:

zookeeper said...
I tweeted!

https://twitter.com/#!/ZootasticZookpr/status/71430202617634816
@ZootasticZookpr
(Zootastic at peoplepc dot com)

May 19, 2011 11:25 PM

I sent you an email!!!!! Thank you all for entering!

Austin has a wonderful next couple days planned! Today was pj day, and they all brought board games! We brought Toy Story Operation :) Tomorrow is water day and they wear their swim suites and we are having an icecream party! Then thursday he has a birthday party to go to! So I am busy busy but will check back in soon! Can't believe tomorrow is the last day of school! Summer here we come!

graduation, bee stings, and an update (aka totally random)

2011-05-23T13:09:00.001-05:00

Well these last few weeks have been crazy busy around here and it seems to be only getting more so! This summer I will have more on my plate than I ever have and I am trying hard to mentally prepare for it all. Although I think with some things we make it through by grace alone and can't really prepare for them in advance. I'm going to need a lot of grace, Ha!

Rambling aside I wanted to share some things with you all!

First up is my sweet little kindergartner graduate! How cute is he!? His graduation ceremony was amazing! The theme was Princes and Princesses since they are all children of the King! Loved it! They all sang songs and put on performances. Austin's song was "My Father's House" by Audio Adrenaline. SO cute! Then at the end the principal read them all letters from God. It was amazing and so moving. I love having him supported by believers, especially with all that has happened in the past 6 months.

Words cannot express how proud I am of him. It is not easy starting the school year more than half way through but he did and was great! He has made a lot of friends and learned a lot in the last few months. He has been going to the private kindergarten at our church and it has been a blessing. He already knew a couple children in his class from Sunday school and his class is the only kindergarten class there. There were only 8 other students so he got a lot of one on one time. During this difficult time of transition it has offered a wonderful outlet for him emotionally and physically. I am so very thankful! This Wednesday is his last day and it is bitter sweet. I am in the process of enrolling him in public school for next year and that is causing a lot of anxiety for me. I am very pro-homeschool/private school and have some conflicting emotions about public school. I am putting it in God's hands and trying to have peace with this decision.
I am just so so proud of my sweet first born. Words can simply not express it!

Austin is reading now and EJs favorite thing in the world is to read books (and do puzzles)! Every once in a while, in between legos and wrestling, I can get him to read to EJ. They just finished reading "Polar bear, Polar bear what do you hear?", so he kept wanting to say what do you hear but he caught on :) It melts my heart to watch them interact so sweetly. These moments with them young are just so fleeting. I can't wait to have another boy and see how they all interact! Or I may lose my sanity :) We will see!

So with school ending this week I am looking forward to summer. I officially start my classes on June 6th. I will be going full time through out the summer and fall. Luckily all of my summer and fall classes are online. That was a huge blessing and answered prayer. With being 8-9 months pregnant and then having a newborn, I couldn't imagine having to go to classes on campus (an hour from where we live). I am anxious enough as it is about my summer classes! I will be having Matthew directly in the middle of my summer semester and I am just praying for God's hand to be on that whole situation. Then to make it even more interesting, Adam is traveling out of state for a business trip for about three weeks over the summer. And then there is Vacation Bible School at the end of June and planning playdates so the boys don't go crazy. Just pray for my sanity please! I think I am going to need it! I know we will make it somehow, I will just be looking forward to getting into a groove that works. I think my house may never be clean again :) But seriously, it may not.

On a totally random note I got stung by a bee over the weekend and had a horrible reaction. It made me so sick! However I will share what my Dr told me to do for the actually sting. Wet a tums and put the disc directly on the sting site for 30 minutes-1 hour. It takes away all sting and redness and swelling. It was amazing! I love home remedies that actually work!! Not much helped with the dizziness and vomiting but that is a whole different story! Lets just say I will be avoiding bees this summer!

Oh and today is day 4 of no nap for EJ. If you don't hear from me in a few days, you may need to send in some reinforcements!!

Hope you all are having a wonderful Monday and I can't wait to hear all about your summer plans!

a thing about birds (and children)

2011-05-22T12:05:00.001-05:00

Birds. They are incredible little creatures, right? Do you ever watch them as they fly? Sometimes so high you can barely see their silhouette. Sometimes, right over head and in large numbers.
One thing I have noticed is how they always seem to perch on the highest branches. A tall roof top, a tiny twig waving in the wind, or all together as a flock. They love the highest peaks, the fresh wind under their wings. They love it because they do not fear it. They know they are not going to fall. They know a force, even though they can not see it, will come bring their wings into the air. They know something that we do not.

I want to ask you what you fear? What holds you back from doing the things you long to do? If you had no fear of falling, of failure, what would you finally do?

God desires us to trust Him. Not only in the easy, but in the difficult. In the messy and disastrous. He calls us to believe that a force we can not see will lift us up and carry us. To leap out in faith with arms wide open.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:26

If God sustains the smallest of living creatures, why do we doubt He will sustain us? Oh how it is so easy to have faith when we least need it!!!

See that sweet baby boy? He is a gorgeous newborn I had the privilege of photographing recently. Those early days are just that, days. Sweet fleeting days. We try to savor it, but it is gone in a blur. What if we could really savor life though? See each moment as what it truly is, a gift. A miracle in the making. What if the worries and everyday stress melted away and we could see and enjoy every moment and every blessing. Like children.
Ever notice how a child will eat a popsicle? With gooey syrup running all over their face and shirt. No hesitation just pure joy? Ever notice the wonder in their eyes when they see a bug or a new flower? The unconditional love as they ask for one more kiss or their favorite book read once more?
EJ loves baths. Eventually though he will ask to come out and I pull the plug and the water quickly begins to drain away. In that moment EJ dives back into the water and swims once more. Until every drop has vanished and then will let me wrap him in his bear towel. He savors every drop.
To live a life of joy and of savoring. The simple, the everyday, can bring the most joy. Joy is not achieving what you most desire. It is finding peace and gratitude in what is already in front of you. To see your life, as it is currently, as a blessing.
The sunlight streaming in through the curtains, little giggles, sweet tea on a hot day. Snuggles with a certain someone fresh from the bath. Every meal and every drop of water. To see the miraculous. To truly live...

I suppose we all could learn a thing or two from birds and children :)

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T17:46:00.001-05:00

Six years ago, this little boy made me a mom.

Then I was a mother to two when this little boy entered the world two years ago.

And he is never far behind the first!

Fishing,

Waving,

Fishing,

Fishing,

And more fishing! Although the only thing they caught today was my heart. It was the fish that missed out :)

Today we went to the lake and had a picnic of my favorite foods, fished (obviously), and soaked up the sun and each others company. Then to top it all off my boys gave me a potted hydrangea which is my favorite flower and a really nice candle. It was pure perfection. I am so very thankful that I am a mother and to the boys who made that possible. My love and my life is wrapped up into small little boys with dirty finger nails and heart breaking smiles.

So this mothers day, all I am is grateful. And so very full of joy.

And as if this isn't enough, you should see what Austin made for me at school last week. Talk about tears people! I was bawling. I seriously do not know how in the world I got to be so blessed.

I am wishing all of you a very happy Mother's Day! Whether you hold your children in your arms or only in your hearts. Today is for you!

play!

2011-05-01T18:21:00.002-05:00

So now that Austin is in school and gets to spend the night with Adam once a week, Ej and I have been spending a lot more alone time together. Although I miss Austin when he is not home, I do cherish the small moments Ej and I get to share. Especially now that Matthew is on his way, I love getting to know him more. I have also noticed how he is so different when Austin is not home. It is like his little personality comes out in full force and I love it. Sometimes balancing multiple children is tough and I always wonder if I am spending enough quality time with them. I have to say I am my own worst enemy and I am constantly doubting myself as a mother. It is no easy task and I fail daily. However I pray that the Lord fills in the gaps and I trust that He will! Being a mom is the hardest and most wonderful thing. It pushes me beyond what I thought possible. All I know is that I love these boys more than anything and I am eternally grateful for being loaned them.
So here is my little man in action. He just melts my heart!

ps. Don't forget to enter my Mother-ease giveaway! It is awesome :)

Motherease Review/Giveaway

2011-05-01T12:40:00.007-05:00

Mother-ease Cloth Diapers is a company I have "known" for years. When I started cloth diapering when EJ was born, there were so many different brands and so many different styles of diapers that it was overwhelming to a beginner. Over the past two years I have gotten to know and have experienced many different types of diapers. I now can say that I know what works for us and what my personal preferences are. (Although they frequently change!! :)

When first trying out fitteds, I had always heard Mother-ease Sandy's were wonderful. If you look on diaperswappers.com, Motherease diapers are always snatched up quickly! Their quality, ease of use, ease of washing, and dependability is clearly witnessed once you try one of their diapers.

For review, I received a large Motherease Sandy with a large Sandy's absorbent liner. I also received a large ocean Airflow cover.

The thing that is great about Mother-ease is that there is an option for everyone. You can choose from their beautiful colors, go unbleached, organic, or bamboo! The Sandy's diaper is a two sized system with small going from 8-20 pounds and large from 20-35 pounds. They also offer a one size diaper to make it even more simple! For us, I wanted a sized diaper as I knew Ej was not going to potty learn any time soon. I needed something that was guaranteed to fit even at the upper weight limit.

For covers, they offer two different styles, the Rikki wrap and the Airflow cover. The Rikki wrap is an aplix cover and the Airflow has snaps. They are both sized to get the perfect fit.

One thing I noticed right away with their diapers is that you do not want to size up prematurely. Their diapers and covers are generously sized. This is not the most trim diaper by any means, but is exactly what I needed for night time diapering. They are bit wider in the width than other fitteds, and paired with the cover, has a substantial rise. I do not have to worry about blow outs or inadequate coverage at all with this diaper!

The Sandy's is a side snap diaper which I have come to prefer. The side snap system allows you to not only adjust the waist but also the leg opening. They each have their own snap. This is wonderful! I can get it tight around his waist without leaving huge red marks on his legs by morning.

The Airflow cover is also side snapping and besides wool, it is the only cover I will use overnight. With aplix covers I have found them to have more of a tendency to leak, especially along the front where the hook and loop is. With the Airflow cover the snaps are on the side and I have never, ever had any wetness wick even when the diaper was fully saturated. Having a dry morning is priceless!

Again though, expect some bulk when using this combo. His sized pj pants still fit, but he definitely has that fluffy bottom look :)

As far as absorbency goes, the Sandy is wonderful. I have to use the absorbent liner for over night but together it works great. The liner is cotton and I like knowing that natural fibers are touching his skin. We have used the fitted with the Airflow cover and with our wool, and we have never had a leak either way. This diaper can definitely hold a lot of liquid! If you want a stay dry feel for your little one you would want to add a fleece liner. I love that cloth diapering is so customizable!

For washing, this is one of my easiest to clean and dry. Honestly, I struggle with keeping synthetics clean and that was one of the main reasons for us to switch to natural fibers. They always come out clean and I have never once had a stink issue with these after months of use. Plus they dry in one full cycle. They are still soft and squishy and have shown no wear whatsoever. This really is a no fuss diaper. Also, out of all my diapers, this one has yet to stain despite plenty of reason too :) Maybe it is the terry material?

All I can say is that the Sandy has lived up to the hype I always heard. It is a simple, absorbent, easy to clean, and great fitting diaper. For an overnight fitted, I think it is one of the best.

For day, I prefer a trimmer system and I am thrilled to see that Mother-ease has come out with a new AIO system called the Wizard! I can't wait to hear about it! If it is anything like their other products, I know it will be amazing!

Between their customer service, their business ethic, and great quality diapers, I am a true Mother-ease fan. I have always said that I love all things eco friendly but it has to be easy and functional. It has to truly work! Thank you Mother-ease for being a great company and not compromising on that!

The best part!? One of you will win an unbleached cotton Sandy's fitted diaper, an absorbent liner, and an Airflow cover! How wonderful is that!

All you have to do is visit Mother-ease and leave me a comment letting me know what size of Sandy's you would want and what size/print of cover! It is that easy!

For additional entries, just leave a separate comment for each of the following.

1. Follow me via google friend connect

2. Follow me on Twitter

3. Tweet about this giveaway and leave me a link (can be done daily)

4. Blog about this giveaway and leave me the link

5. Like Mother-ease of Facebook

6. Follow Mother-ease on Twitter

Giveaway will end May 23, 2011 at 12PM and the winner will be announced May 24, 2011. Good luck!

Fine print: This review was written by me and shows my true opinions. I was not compensated for this review and am happy to share a product I genuinely love with you all!

lunch time

2011-04-29T12:55:00.001-05:00

Ej, my picky eater who loves pasta, cheese, pickled okra, apples, grapes, and bananas. Oh and beans. Oh my word that child loves beans! So as picky as he is, I am grateful for the things he does love.
He ate three bowls of pasta people. Three bowls!

Yum!

CSN, oh how I love thee

2011-04-26T08:04:00.010-05:00

So you all know my love of CSN! Well I recently received a couple much wanted/needed things from them and I wanted to share them with you!

First of all if you need ANYTHING, chances are that CSN sells it. With over 200 stores you can't go wrong. Also I have ordered from them a lot (both bought with my money and received as review items) and I can honestly say their stuff ships fast and perfectly. I never have a beat up box or a mispackaged item. I am always impressed.

So the items I recently received are some I have been eyeing for a while and can honestly say are my favorite review items to date!

First up is this little cutie :)

I love boon products so much! I needed a new drying rack desperately and this one is perfect! There is plenty of room for lots of sippy cups and bottles and because of the grass blades, you can fit the little straws for the sippy cups right on there to dry! It holds things of all sizes easily. Nothing falls! The grass is forgiving to oddly shaped objects too. I truly love this! The grass pad pops right off the base to wash when needed. A true mom necessity.

The second item, or items really, is this. I have two different sets of the no leak containers and LOVE them! I have loved Pyrex for as long as I have been cooking/baking. They are known to have amazing products. These are no exception. They can go from the freezer to the microwave or oven seamlessly. They can be washed in the dishwasher (even the lids) and I love that. I also love that the lids are bpa free and I can microwave without worrying about toxic chemicals leaching into our food. For the price, they can not be beat. I was so thrilled to throw out my plastic tupperware. I love that these are easy to use and wash, and are a healthy alternative to plastic. Plus, they actually live up to their name and do not leak ;) Gotta love that!

Kitchen items are by far my favorite and I am all about making my life easier. Now being a single mom, every second counts. I am thankful to boon and pyrex for understanding moms and what truly matters in a product!

Fine print:

I received these items for review but the opinions expressed in this review are my own and are genuine. I was not compensated beyond receiving the review items.

Thank you CSN for generously sponsoring this review!

home sweet home

2011-04-25T14:00:00.006-05:00

Well I promised long ago that I would do a brief tour when I was finished with the boys room! I am never quite finished as I am ALWAYS adding and removing something in the house. The rooms never look the same week to week. But now is as good as any to show you where we are so far!

So welcome to my very humble home! It is quaint and cozy but it is home to the little loves of my life. I often dream of our own home and know that we will get their eventually. However in this season of life, especially with our recent life changes, this little two bedroom is where we rest our heads! I am so grateful to have a warm roof over our heads. So without further rambling.....home

The view when you walk in our front door. Living room, kitchen to the left, the little office nook behind the living, and the boys bath and bedroom beyond that.

I love these pillows!

This box was given to me a couple years ago by a dear friend. I love it!

I made a little chalk board for our bar. I couldn't resist as I have been seeing them everywhere! I have a large crystal vase with white flowers to the left of it that you can't see.

One of the little hurricanes I have on top of the armoire in the little nook area. Love the dollar tree!

A zoomed out pic of the armoire. The wreath behind is a work in progress. Trust me on that :)

One of my very favorite jars! It is on the coffee table directly under the bar. Not the normal place for a coffee table you say? Well have I mentioned how cozy and quaint my little home is :)

My second favorite jar. This is on the entertainment center to the left as you walk in. It sits next to our tv.

These little spaghetti jars sit on top of the toilet in the boys bath. Their whole bath room is blue and green. Still a work in progress as well!

A peak into my bedroom around the corner. Definitely the most neglected room in the house but that is changing! Matthew will room in with me for a long while :)

Now into the boys room!!! As you walk in the door...
The cross peaking from under the net was there before I hung the net up. I need to move it down a bit.

The bed area. Ignore the mess. Their room is never "perfect" and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Their bunk beds are from bunkbedking.com and after searching everywhere they had the best prices and the best quality. They also have free shipping! I highly recommend them. The comforters are from Target and are down. They are so soft.

To the left as you walk in. Ignore that unruly second drawer. It taunts me constantly and I have just learned to live with it :) Personality I say! I got it free off of freecycle and painted it red. Almost all of the basic pieces of their room are neutral and the decor was all made by me. This way I can change it often without spending money. Cause ya know with two little boys, it changes a lot!

And a blurry picture of their porthole :)

For Matthew, I got him a new crib as Ej's was recalled. I ended up getting the Europa Baby Palisades Lifetime Crib and I love it! Right now it is sitting to the left of my bed in my room. I took out the changing table that was in there in its place. Then I put the changing table topper on top of my night stand and it was a perfect fit! It is tight to say the least but it works! I just made Matthew a chalk board picture that is above the changing area. I'll post that later :)

There are some things I am working on. I would love a rug for the living room and a roman shade for the boys room! Also I need to make some curtains for my bedroom as well. Always something :)

So there you have it! A peak into our little corner of the world! It has come a long way but still has a way to go.

Im linking up over at the Decor Chic!!! You should join in too!

Alabu winner!!

2011-04-25T08:00:00.004-05:00

Our winner for the $50 credit to Alabu!

Anash said...

I would buy the

http://www.alabu.com/moisturize/replenish-facial-moisturizer

anashct [at] yahoo [dot] com

Congrats! I sent you an email!!

Thank you everyone who entered! :)

egg hunt :)

2011-04-24T12:35:00.000-05:00

I don't have much time to post as I am off for a family lunch, but I had to post this quick video of the boys hunting for easter eggs this morning. Oh how I love these two!

egg hunt 2011 from E Nault on Vimeo.

so grateful!

2011-04-23T17:59:00.001-05:00

I hope you all are having a wonderful Easter weekend! The boys and I decorated eggs yesterday and had a blast! Some were broken by someones chubby little toddler hands, but that's just details that only make that day sweeter. The truth is that those boys are my light and the thing I am most thankful and grateful for. I am so excited for tomorrow!

Although I strive to teach the boys what Easter is really about (and I feel as if I am doing a good job at this) we still do the Easter bunny and the boys will both be getting a basket and plenty of goodies :) I can't wait to see their faces tomorrow morning! Holidays have the most amazing meaning now that I have children. Seeing it through their eyes is so priceless.

I am planning on making chicken cacciatore tomorrow and lots of yummy cream cheese cupcakes! Can you tell I am pregnant, Ha! Our weekly dinner menu is pretty crazy these days thanks to a certain little one residing in my belly.

Speaking of Matthew, he is growing right on track and I have gained a total of 18 pounds now. Yikes! Those cupcakes will be my undoing! I am 24.5 weeks now and I can feel him constantly. I can not believe God has blessed with with all these beautiful boys!
Here is my belly pic from today. Sorry for how blurry it is!

I am wishing you all the most wonderful Easter tomorrow. We are saved by His death and are given hope by His life. So in awe of a God who loves us that much.

What is in a name?

2011-04-08T13:00:00.002-05:00

Well this sweet new babe has a name now! I have enjoyed calling him Elias but knew that we would probably change it at some point. We are known for doing that!
So without further ado,

Matthew means God's gift and Ryan means little king. I think it is perfect for our sweet little boy! And unless something huge and drastic occurs, this will be his name! So excited! He really is a gift from God!

decor blogs give me a bad case of "the wants"

2011-04-07T19:10:00.002-05:00

I have a lot to update on, and a lot to do blog wise, but instead I am rocking my feverish two year old. We have once again been hit by a bug and his fever is currently 102.4. This makes illness number 12 since December if anyone is counting.
Oh wait, that would be me.
I am so ready for this run of illnesses to be over. Summer where the heck are ya!? But I guess this is to be expected since I put Austin in private school earlier this year. Since then it has been one illness after another. This is why I had hoped to homeschool until EJ was stronger. Don't get me wrong, Austin LOVES his school. His class is small with only 8 children and he is thriving in a more social environment. But oh.my.word the illnesses!! Hopefully this summer we will get a break, and will start back in the fall with three boys! Oh boys!

Okay moving on.

So since I am at the computer, I may as well blog surf, right? And decor blogs are top of my list lately. They are beautiful, thought provoking, inspiring, but mostly they make me have "the wants". So to indulge this I am window web shopping and I wanted to share my current favorite things.

Most of my favorite things currently are from Pottery Barn surprise, surprise. If you don't know, I will tell ya! I love Pottery Barn. My wallet does not. Too bad the wallet always wins.

See that beauty of a table? That is my all time favorite table and chair set. Be still my heart! The extend-able table is on sale right now for only $999.99. I have no place to put a table and couldn't get it right now anyway but that price is fabulous for that table.

This is the Calvert Sofa and I love it. I would buy it in a heart beat if I could. Right now I have a beige microfiber sofa and love seat and although I can take the seat cushions off to machine wash, nothing else is removable. So it is in desperate need of cleaning. Seriously some spots make my skin crawl. A slip covered sofa would solve all of this and my next sofa set will absolutely be slipcovered...and machine washable. Hello pottery barn twill!
I also love the comfort series:

I have always wanted a sectional. Especially a nice big soft makes-you-want-to-cuddle one. Unfortunately since we move so much and have yet to land in our forever home (and wont anytime soon) I need more versatility than a sectional. One day though....

Also am I the only one who notices that these will hide all the little toys that inevitably get underneath. The things under my couch are amazing! With the slip cover, no one would be able to see a thing :) I don't know if that is comforting or scary!

I want this coffee table. The one I have now has a shelf underneath and spindles on both sides attaching the shelf to the table. It is one nightmare of a dust magnet. It is so gross.
This is simple and beautiful and I love the basket underneath idea!

This beauty would be perfect! Not only is it wide enough at 54 inches but it comes in a gorgeous mahogany color. As my "design" taste has changed I appreciate an armoire so much b/c it conceals the tv and all the equipment and wires when you don't need them. Much more stream line and simple. As much as any man would argue, I simply do not thing tvs are beautiful and they certaintly shouldn't be the focal point.

This is new and is such a beautiful color palette!

I think for me though, since I change my theme so much, I would have to go ultra neutral.
like this from restoration hardware

or this but in beige/ivory

And last but not least, I am obsessed with the all white bed!! Mine is currently "all white" but it is shameful and in desperate need of a redo!

And that concludes this window-web shopping trip! Thanks for tagging long!! :) I think it is important to remember that we don't have to have the newest and greatest to have a beautiful home. We can find ways to make it that way that are cheap or maybe even free. It is the love and laughter within the walls that matter most. But it sure is fun to look!

Now hopefully this little sick one will get better soon so I can actually get some work done around this house! We have a zoo trip planned for tomorrow (it will be EJ's first time going) and I really hope he doesn't have to miss it! Goodnight everyone!

Alabu Skin Care - A Giveaway!

2011-03-29T17:56:00.002-05:00

Alabu Skin Care is a family run, all natural skin care business. Founded by Maryclaire from a desire for a more simple way of life, Alabu has now grown into an incredible line of soaps, lip balms, moisturizers and more!

More and more people today are also realizing that Maryclaire's vision is one that they have as well. However, while searching for more natural, more organic, and eco friendly products, we are usually left empty handed or having to pay large amounts of money for them.

Alabu offers a great line of products and they are all natural. Every single one. You can trust that the goats milk soap or the almond lotion you are using come from the best, safest ingredients out there. In fact, all of their soaps are made in small batches and used by the family themselves. Every order is guaranteed to be the quality that people have come to expect from Alabu.

For review I received two bars of soap (Baby Me and the Oat and Honey), two lotions (the naturally preserved in original and almond), the vanilla lip balm, and the original Shea body butter.

I have been using their products for a couple months now and all I can say is that I love it! I switched to natural soap about a year ago, but this has been the best I have tried. The Oatmeal and Honey is exfoliating and has a more rough texture that I love. With bar soap, I like it to have some texture. It is very moisturizing and that is saying a lot due to the fact that I have eczema and very alligator like skin. The Baby Me soap is for the boys and is very gentle, unscented, and also extremely moisturizing. Both boys use it and have no reactions what so ever. As a mom, it is so important that my children use the safest, most natural products available.

The lotions come in a 4oz bottle which is perfect for your purse. I also keep some by our guest sink. The original is unscented and very gentle. I used it on Easton after bath one night while he was having an eczema flair up on his face. While it didn't make it go away, it didn't aggravate it either. That is huge! So this is the lotion you want if you have the most sensitive of skin. The almond scented is my favorite because, to me, it smells like chocolate covered cherries. Seriously it smells good enough to eat. The fragrance goes on strong but fades quickly so you don't have to worry about an intense fragrance all day. It is such a treat after I wash my hands. I will say however, that it is a lighter moisturizer and is not for intense dryness. It is great for the every day wear but not a really thick lotion.

The Shea Body butter stick on the other hand, is for those really dry spots. I use it on my elbows and knees and occasionally on my hands. It is a bit greasy but absorbs very quickly and really works great. I love this product so much, as again, I have some seriously dry skin. Plus you cant go wrong with a roll on product. No mess!

Last but not least, is the lip balm. Now here is where I am super picky. I have a brand of lip balm that I use and I only use that brand. However, this one worked just as great as my go to and I loved the vanilla flavor. It is very subtle and Adam took it for himself since it wasn't too girly like my others! I loved it and it really works on some of the worst chapped lips.

When it comes to natural skin care, Alabu is awesome. I love their soaps and light weight moisturizers so much but my favorite was the body butter and the lip balm. We really tested these products out over the winter and they far exceeded my expectations. I have to say thank you to Alabu for making quality, natural skin care that is actually affordable.

The best part of all of this?? One of YOU will win a $50 gift certificate to their online store!! How amazing is that! You know that summer is fast approaching and you will need some great skin care!

All you have to do is visit Alabu online and leave me a comment telling me what you would spend the money on! That's it!

For extra entries (leave a separate comment for each):
1. Follow my blog with Google friend connect
2. Follow me on twitter
3. Tweet about the giveaway and leave me the link (can be done daily)
4. blog about the giveaway and leave me a link

Giveaway will end on April 22, 2011 and the winner will be announced April 25, 2011 . Good luck!

rub a dub dub, two little fish in the tub

2011-03-28T19:58:00.001-05:00

Well I am so proud of us! We have polished our routine enough now that we finish with dinner and baths at least an hour before bedtime. It gives us some breathing room that is much needed. I always feel so rushed because I never allow myself enough time to get things done. Not anymore!

And since I had a bit of breathing room, here are a couple quick pictures of my little fish :) Man I love those boys!

The cutest little fish I know!

Picasso

2011-03-27T14:37:00.002-05:00

These pictures are from yesterday and I can't help but share. They made more "masterpieces" than I could possibly ever display! I love them so much and I love seeing the world through their eyes. So, Picasso, eat your heart out ;)

On a random note, I can't wait to meet Elias and see who he will resemble more. I love that little babe so much already! Austin has requested he have red hair so then there will be one of each lol! I can't wait :) If I had to guess though (because in my dreams Eli always looks about the same) he will have lighter features light EJ. We will see!!

the gift

2011-03-27T14:29:00.001-05:00

It is quiet here this afternoon. Adam came just around 1 and picked up EJ so that he could enjoy the rest of the day with his big bro and his daddy. It is Adam's day with the boys and there are so many things wrong with that statement but I can't even wrap my head around them all. Adam has to have a day because he is not here. He is missing it. The day to day snuggles and kisses and tantrums. The smiles, the tears, the laughter. All of it.

Too many thoughts have been let to wander to what has been, what could have been, what is to come. And what I need to realize is the now.
In the words of my favorite turtle from Kung Fu Panda, "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That is why it is called the Present."
True words indeed, even though they came from an animated cartoon character.

I just feel out of sorts today. Could be due to the steroids I am on for my asthma, but a lot of it is the fact that I don't like being alone. I don't know how to do it. I hate the nights that Austin spends the night at Adam's place and I hate the days he has both boys. I don't like being away from them and I just feel worthless without them here. I know that probably sounds crazy to some, maybe most people. But it is my reality. I don't mind the extra work of being a single mom and in fact, I am doing really well with it. But on the days that it is just me, well not so much. I should be steam cleaning my carpets or going grocery shopping, but I am on here typing instead. It is almost as if my boys keep me afloat and give me meaning. They give me breath and courage. They make me, me. And I am so blessed and so overwhelmed with gratitude for the enormous blessing that they are to me. I need them as much, if not more, than they need me.

When I walk around the corner, just out of sight of EJ, he always calls "Mommmmmyyyyyyyyy" in the sweetest most melt-your-heart voice imaginable.
Some people are not born mothers but I am. There is nothing I cherish more than being called "Mommy".

On the other hand, I need to let the Lord minister to me in these quiet moments where I find myself alone. I need to let Him fill the void and let Him be enough. If we all truly allowed our Savior to be ENOUGH and to fill every void and emptiness in our lives, think how different this world would be. Everything would be different. I would be totally different.

It is no secret that I struggle with anxiety and worry and it is more apparent now than ever before. His peace is something I get to feel on a daily basis and it takes my breathe away. But in some moments, like now, I do not always accept His sweet gift and instead I wallow in the overwhelming.

So I breathe, focus on Him, focus on the moment, and let the stress slip away. The tears come as they often do, and I surrender again. And again. And again.
I lean in to the One who calls me by name and knew me before I was created. The one who will never let me fall and will never walk away.

And as I type, sweet little Elias is kicking away inside and I can't help but smile. God's timing is always perfect isn't it? Oh how I am ever grateful to a Lord who knows me better than I even know myself....

Life is a hard road and I am right smack in the middle of the mud. But it won't always be like this and I know that. I can see the sun and feel the warmth even now. The hope that is tomorrow, but the gift that is today.

for the love of cookies

2011-03-25T17:41:00.002-05:00

Nothing beats warm, fresh from the oven, chocolate chip cookies! And Austin poured in all the ingredients and formed the cookies and placed them on the cookie sheet! He is my little helper and I love it! EJ woke up from his nap yelling "cookies" :) So grateful for sweet moments with my two little men.

long days, really long nights

2011-03-22T19:15:00.001-05:00

Well it is almost 7pm and EJ is still asleep from his afternoon nap and I have decided to let him sleep.
Last night was rough to say the least and ended up with us rushing off to the ER again.

Ej has been sick since February and was diagnosed with strep and we had that treated. Then he got a cold and a nasty sinus infection, and again, we had that treated. Now it is settling into his chest and my poor sweet little toddler can not stop coughing and can not breathe. We are on albuterol every four hours and he just finished a z pack. Last night however, he woke me up at 2am and couldn't breathe. He was wheezing and his whole body was jerking trying to breathe. This lasted three hours and off we went. After him coughing a ton of yuck up and throwing it up in my car, he finally was able to breathe better and rest. We got home later this morning and he has been put on some other different meds as well. It is looking more and more like he is following in his moms and brother footsteps and will have asthma as well.

So anyways he went down for a nap at 2 this afternoon and I have every intention of letting that little babe sleep. Hoping beyond hope of course that that means I get to sleep tonight :) Running on about 4 hours wears me down. Is anyone else not a nap taker though? I tried so hard to take a nap with him and I can just not nap! Hopefully we will sleep well tonight. Deep breathe in.......................Okay better.

On a totally different note I had my big anatomy scan today as well. Elias is measuring right on track and looked great! We changed my due date again and I will actually be delivering in July instead of August! How exciting! Some days feel like they are so long, some nights feel even longer, but this pregnancy seems to be flying by! I am now past my half way point and I can not believe it! I can feel him moving everyday now and you can feel and see him move from the outside. Austin got to feel last night and he loves it! Both boys will rub my belly and tell little Eli that they love him. It is so sweet! I have gained 8 pounds so far which is pretty good considering I gained 40 total with each of the boys. But we will see what I end up at! Ha!

***Okay so EJ just woke up and he has a fever. If he still has a fever in the morning we have to go back to Children's. Deep breathe*****

Alright I better go love on my little one. If you can spare a prayer, pray he gets better soon please! Three weeks+ is a long time for a little one to be so sick....

hope is still here

2011-03-17T19:47:00.002-05:00

It has been a long couple of weeks. The boys and I are trying hard to get our new routine down, and I will say, some days it is difficult being the lone ranger. That is my reality though right now and I am embracing it. If it takes the bad to get the good, I will take it all. And when you have two little boys who adore you, and a third rolling around inside, it is hard not to see the good. To see the beauty of this new season. To see the hope that lies where it was least expected. Hope and beauty....two thing that are so abundant in this trying time. And I am thankful to the One who gives sustenance when it is needed most.

We went to the Arboretum today and it was wonderful. EJ screamed for about 2 hours straight while he desperately fought a nap, but besides that we had a blast. And beauty? Oh.my.word. there was beauty!
Behold......

Truly all of nature speaks His name!

On a random note, I received my official acceptance letter from TWU today and I am enrolling in classes for the summer. I am really going to try to get online classes since I will be 8-9 months pregnant and waddling around a college campus isn't my idea of a lot of fun! I will let you know!
Also Elias is 19 weeks along now and that marks our official half way point (since I deliver at 38 weeks)!! Can you believe it? I sure can't! Here is a belly shot Austin took with my iphone. And yes he cut my head off :)

I think it is safe to say I am huge and I feel every bit of it too. The funniest part of pregnancy is the random comments you get from strangers. I just can not believe what comes out of some peoples mouths!

I know I am lacking in pictures of the boys but I promise my next post will have lots of pictures. Or I will try! Photographing lightning like children is never easy ya know ;) Until then sweet friends!

what it means to be alone (a post I never thought I'd have to write)

2011-03-10T20:10:00.002-06:00

Sitting in a darkened quiet apartment is as strange of a circumstance to me as trying to decipher a foreign language. Only now, I have no translation dictionary to help me stumble through this place. I have no road map when my feet have no direction and I certainly do not have a compass. I am alone in this place and I am lost. And I have lost. I have lost so very much that frankly I am tired of the upward climb. I am weary of fighting through the storms to see the clearer skies. The see the dawn emerge behind the black. I am weary and tonight I am broken.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8

Tonight marks my first night as a single mother to three beautiful boys. Tonight I am the sole guardian of my precious little ones. Tonight I stand alone before the Lord praying for mercy and praising the One who is still God despite my circumstance. Tonight I cling desperately to the promise that His strength is made perfect in my weakness, because it is all I can do to breathe.

I seek His arms strength once more as He carries me through the depths of this sinful word.

The fact is, is that we can not choose what this life gives us. We can only chose how we react to such things. We can waste away in defeat or we can collapse before a God who can handle it. A God who has gone before and a God who is faithful. He promised us a difficult path in life as I have seen over and over but I also know He truly never leaves us during the worst of it. He alone can calm the storm. He alone can walk on top of the crashing waves. He alone can sustain us. He alone.

So where do I go from here? My marriage is over, our family torn apart, my heart is broken, and the enemy is whispering lies into this quiet darkness. Where do I turn? I turn my gaze upward and I know. Although the weight of this pain is crushing and the loneliness is sure to settle deeply, I can know with out hesitation that my God is not far, that He hears my cries, that He will bring glory from this if I allow Him to. I know the Truth come what may.

So I say into this quiet emptyness, I am not alone. For my hope rests not with man. My hope rests not in this world. My Hope is in Him and in Him alone.

I should apologize for the depth of this post but I am not going to. This is my heart tonight as I face the uncertainty of what is to come. Life has crashed around me so very unexpectantly and I have been left reeling. I have put on a brave face all day for my sweet boys. Austin came to me in tears this evening sharing his feelings. I can comfort and hug but I cant fulfill every question he has. Unfortunately there is no answer for why families fall apart and why a daddy leaves. This is never what I would have chosen for us, for them. I would do anything, give anything, if I could just shelter them from all of this.

I am not 100% on what will unfold in the coming months but I am working on a plan and I ask for your prayers for what is to come. Most importantly I ask your prayers for Austin and EJ. To surround them and protect them as much as possible from this. I truly believe divorce is never God's plan but I know He will see us through this. Things will never be the same, we will never be the same, but maybe just maybe The Creator can rebuild us even more brilliantly. Maybe just maybe The Potter can mold us into an image even more like Himself.

my how far we have come....

2011-02-11T14:50:00.000-06:00

Sweet EJ,
I can not believe you turned 2 years old yesterday. Watching your eyes light up at your party, how you loved the balloons and the cupcakes, how you blew out your candles, and how you adore your new toys. It was everything I wanted your birthday to be. You are everything I hoped you would be and so much more. I am beyond blessed to be your mom and am so eternally grateful to the One who gave me you. Your first year was tough little man, but this second year has been wondrous. You are brave and strong and determined. You are sweet and feisty. You are just perfect to me. I love you so much my little two year old, and I look forward to many, many more years being your mommy! With so much love,
Mom

Austin meets EJ from E Nault on Vimeo.

Sweet little Elias!! (and a belly shot)

2011-02-09T09:34:00.006-06:00

Here is my sweet little boy at 13 weeks! It was confirmed he is definitely all boy and I am so excited to have another. I think three boys will be perfect for our family :)
So far, his name is Elias Matthew. We all know Adam and I are prone to change the name a couple of times until finally settling but I really like Elias and hope it sticks! It means "the Lord is my God" and I love that!
I have been feeling some slight movement for a little while and can not wait till he gets bigger and can really kick. I have gained a few pounds now but I am not too worried. I gained 40 with each of the other boys and have always lost it after. Hopefully this will go the same way. I will share a belly pic but it is not the best. I just snapped it with my iphone after my shower.

Here is the belly~ (I'll try to get a better soon!)

And here is my little love~

Can't believe I have hit the 2nd trimester already. My nausea is almost completely gone and my energy is finally back. I am finally starting to enjoy this! So blessed!

what did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato?

2011-02-04T15:25:00.002-06:00

Catch up :)
And that is exactly what I am in desperate need of. The lack of attention I have given my blog lately is just horrible and I apologize! But now that I feel human again, I can't wait to...well....catch up :)

This winter has not been to kind in terms of illness for us. We have been bombarded with one case of the sickies after another. That on top of morning sickness and pregnancy fatigue, and me having to get stitches (yikes!), I had to pull away to tend to others things. Things seem to be settling down now and I am so thankful for that! Feeling good after a long winter is so nice and refreshing. You know what else is refreshing? Seeing this sweet face playing in today's snow....

Well until he fell and ate quite a bit of said snow...

But we cleaned him up and he was ready to keep going!

Sweet Austin was busy building a snow man while I was snapping pics but I managed to sneak one in :) That boy does not like getting his photo taken!

My two sweet boys! I just can not believe we will adding another to the mix!

Speaking of our newest little one, we are growing right along! I will be 14 weeks on tuesday and I had an ultrasound at 12 weeks and the baby looked good. I have my NST on monday and will post pictures then. Also we might get a sneak peek of the gender then too! How fun! We have started planning for the little "squishy", as Austin calls the baby, and I am redoing the boys room. They will be getting a complete room makeover and I will share that with you as it progresses! We also are getting some new things for the baby that I will also share. I love redecorating and organizing! The only room I have never cared for organizing is an office. So much paperwork and clutter. Maybe if I had a large office and some modern office furniture it would be better!Anyways, I am glad to catch up and I won't be such a stranger from now on! Promise!ps. I do have some giveaways coming up so keep an eye out for that!! :)

winners!!!!!

2011-01-02T12:08:00.003-06:00

UPDATE: All info has been passed on to the companies sponsoring the giveaway! If you do not recieve your item in 4 weeks, please email me! Thank you all so much!

Abby's Lane

Ashley said...

Tweeted: http://twitter.com/reynoldsmom/status/20035251296276480
reynoldsmommy at gmail dot com
December 29, 2010 2:36 AM

Crunchy Angel/Toodle Bugz

orangefukurou said...

follow you on twitter
orangefukurou
tomokofive at gmail dot com
December 9, 2010 11:50 PM

Knit Together

babs said...
I like the purple stripe, size small. Cute!
December 9, 2010 12:25 AM

Flora Gayle

Kait said...
I follow you on twitter (kpicco)
philadybug@hotmail.com
December 20, 2010 11:41 AM

OweWhoaWhen

Tara said...
http://twitter.com/curious_kitty/status/13653341947035649
taraz9 at excite dot com
December 11, 2010 11:56 AM

Thirsties

caedmen said...
tweeted today
http://twitter.com/Caedmen/status/20546046748786688
richardrachel at hotmail dot com
December 30, 2010 12:26 PM

Congrats Ladies!!! Please email me asap!!!
There are a couple more giveaways, so if you didn't win one of these don't miss the ones coming up!

Surprise! My early Christmas gift!

2010-12-23T12:20:00.000-06:00

Surprise!

Oh boy (or girl), Here we go again!!!

We had our first OB appointment yesterday and there was our "bun" with a healthy heart beat of 128bpm. I am not due till August so we have a ways to go!

If you could keep us in your prayers for a healthy uneventful pregnancy and the strength and peace to handle three kiddos ;)

I am back on my lovenox injections, prometrium, and vivelle dot patches. I am also on Zofran to try to help with some serious morning sickness. I sure hope that part passes quickly! I miss food!

I can not believe we are doing this again so soon, and it still doesn't seem real. I know that it will sink in soon enough. And I know God's plan is perfect and what He brings you to, He will bring you through! So meet bun, our third and final :)

Thirsties review/giveaway!

2010-12-16T14:00:00.001-06:00

First of all I want to apologize for being absent lately! We have been under the weather (aka battling one of the worst bugs this year!) and I had to take care of two little special someones. We are not yet 100% but thankfully much, much better!
Thank you all for being patient!

Now on to the review ;)

Thirsties is a well known and well loved company! Started in 2004, they have strived, and succeeded to make fab diapers for fab babies! Here is their mission:

"Thirsties line of cloth diapers were launched in 2004 in an effort to offer sustainably produced and quality designed diapers at affordable prices. Our mission is to make it easy and attainable for every family to choose cloth while simultaneously investing in our local economy and sustainable business practices."

One of the things that I personally LOVE about Thirsties, is that all of their diapering products are made here in the USA. This is important to me and I love supporting local companies!

Also, their diapers are adorable. Seriously cute fluff! Look at some of their new prints!

Aren't those gorgeous!?

Thirsties is currently making their famous fab fitted which comes in many beautiful colors, their sized diaper covers, their new duo wraps (a two sized cover system), and their new duo diapers (an all in two). They also provide prefolds, inserts and an assortment of different accessories!

For review I received the duo wrap and a stay dry duo insert to use inside it.

The duo insert is WONDERFUL!! It is two inserts, one polyester and one hemp/cotton blend. They snap together for easy use and easy laundering. The insert is super soft and after we prepped it, it is super absorbent! All I have to do is lay it in the wrap and put it on EJ. Like a trifolded prefold but without the work, and with much more absorbency. Also I love that I can decided what material is against EJ's skin. You could use the fleece or the hemp if you want all natural fibers against babies bum. An extremely versatile item. I bet you could use these as a pocket insert as well and would work fabulously! Few things can beat the combo of microfiber and hemp for heavy wetters!

As far as the duo wrap is concerned, it is one of my favorite covers. You all know I love wool, but this is a close second. I love how the cover is soft and moves easily so it is not sticky, sweaty, and it doesn't restrict movement. Another thing I love is that they come in your choice of aplix or snap closure. I prefer snaps as they tend to last longer and my little magician can't get it off!

They thing that really surprised me about the duo wrap was the sizing. They come in two sizes (size one and size two) and each size is adjustable by a snap down rise. With EJ being 26 pounds now and having a 18 inch rise, I need adjustable. I need a diaper that will fit him well and will fit through potty learning. A generous diaper will fit over his huge fitted diapers, and will be comfortable while being leak free. The duo performs! The size 2 duo is a large cover and very generous in its sizing. While all other covers either don't fit, or are on the largest setting, he wears the duo comfortably on the medium setting. He has plenty of room!! I was thrilled with this! When he wears this over his duo insert, the trimness can not be beat.

I have been a long time fan of Thirsties. I have had their covers since we first started cloth diapering. I will attest to their quality and customer service. Almost two years ago, when one of my diaper covers had a seam that came undone, Thirsties paid to mail the cover back, fixed it, and sent it back to me within a week. Time and time again they have proven to be one of the best products out there and they stand by their products.
True work horse covers for a great price!

So I just know you are wanting in on the Thirsties love!!! Well you are in luck!
Thirsties is generously offering to give one of you a duo wrap in your choice of color and size, and a stay dry insert!!

All you have to do is visit Thirsties and leave a comment letting me know what color and size of duo wrap you would want!

For extra entries (leave a separate comment for each)
1. Be a public follower of this blog via google friend connect
2. Request a Thirsties Catalog
3. Be a fan of Thirsties on Facebook
4. Tweet about this giveaway and leave me the link
5. Follow me on Twitter

Contest is open to Canada and USA. Giveaway will end December 31st, 2010 and winner will be announced January 2, 2011. Good Luck!

Bitty Bumz winner!!

2010-12-16T12:58:00.001-06:00

Congrats!!!!

Chany said...

http://twitter.com/#!/chany10/status/14399824967237634

December 13, 2010 1:41 PM

Please email me asap!!

OweWhoaWhen review/giveaway!

2010-12-06T08:00:00.002-06:00

OweWhoaWhen is an amazing shop run by Linda. You can find her on etsy or at her other site http://www.owewhoawhen.com/. Linda specializes in wool soakers and the quality of her products are incredible. It never ceases to amaze me when I receive an item that has been handmade and it is flawless.You can tell so much time and talent go in to each and every one.

This is the soaker Linda made for EJ. It was a semi custom soaker, so I picked the embroidery and she picked the wool. Isn't is just gorgeous!? Her embroidery is what really sets her apart from other shops. I love having such a unique piece in our stash and I am always showing this off to people. I am just in love!

As far as functionality goes, it is great. It has a second layer stitched into the wet zone for better protection and fits like a glove even on his chunky thighs. The waist and leg openings are nice a stretchy and are soft against his skin. He loves this cover because of the turtle and I can't blame him ;) We have worn this over prefolds and fitteds and it fits great over both types. Because of its stretch it really can accommodate any diaper. The rise is high enough to cover the top of his diapers generously but does not go too high like his night time covers do. An ideal rise for an anytime cover. So if you are looking for function and one of a kind designs, OweWhoaWhen is perfect for you.

In fact, one of you will win an OweWhoaWhen cover for yourselves!

(Winner can choose any in stock soaker!)

All you have to do is be a public follower of this blog via google friend connect, visit OweWhoaWhen and leave me a comment letting me know what cover you would get if you won! That's it!

For additional entries (leave a separate comment for each)

1. Follow me on twitter

2. Like OweWhoaWhen on facebook

3. Tweet about this giveaway and leave me the link (can be done daily)

4. Blog about this giveaway and leave me the link

5. Have the cool cloth event button on your site

Giveaway will end December 31, 2010 at 12pm and the winner will be announced January 2, 2011 at 12pm. Good luck!

Grateful Buns review

2010-12-05T08:00:00.001-06:00

Sometimes, there is something I come across that is so great, I just can not wait to share it with you! This is one of those things!
Marion, owner of Grateful Buns, has the most incredible talent! Her etsy store is overflowing with gorgeous hand made items from amazing super soaker wool diaper soakers and longies, to hand knitted items galore.
Marion stays super busy with a farm and two boys but still has time to creat these one of a kind items.

When I received a soaker for review, I was thrilled with it from the moment I opened the package. Marion's most absorbent and thick soakers are called "underwater" and the soaker I received was a "half underwater". There are a couple of things that set her soakers apart that I just love. First of all, notice how the stitching is outward? I loved that! That means only the softest seams are facing EJ. Babies are super sensitive and I know I wouldn't want any itchy serging against their tender skin. However, you could always turn it inside out if you wanted for a more finished look.
Also, her soakers are the thickest most flawless wool ever. If you are familiar with an aristocrat, these are even more thick and wonderful. The fit is great and there is just enough stretch. Her sewing skills are perfection and I have to add that she must lanolize her soakers with a lanolin/lavender mix because they smell heavenly. We have been using ours at night for a few weeks and it still smells so so good! If you have a super soaker this is definitely the cover for you! There is nothing going to get past her underwater soakers! Definitely the most bulletproof cover we have! Lastly, her prices are amazing and you truly are getting the most bang for your buck with a Grateful Buns cover. Beautiful, well made, and a workhorse diaper cover all for under $20. Can't beat it!

So now you are wondering how you can get one of these for your very own? Just hop on over to Grateful Buns and order to your hearts content. Trust me you will love your new soaker! Also, any of you who order, just let Marion know you came from Nault's Nook and she will discount any item $2 for you! Now what are you waiting for!?

Flora Gayle- wool longies and soakers (review and giveaway)

2010-12-04T08:00:00.002-06:00

Flora Gayle is a wonderful etsy shop, owned by Amanda, and has beautiful recycled wool longies, soakers, and unique fabric necklaces. What drew me to her store was her gorgeous soakers but after talking with her more I knew what a great company she has. Amanda's husband has been serving in Iraq, and I can't help but feel good knowing that when you buy a soaker from her, you are supporting a military family! But back to her wool, they are truly one of a kind!

See what I mean? However when it come to cloth diapers, it doesn't matter how cute it is if it doesn't work! Function is key especially with a diaper cover. Wool is known for its benefits with cloth diapering. It is highly absorbent, leak proof, breathable, and all natural. I find that a good fitted with a wool soaker is bulletproof for night time diapering. There is no way I could do it without wool! I think it is safe to say I am a bit obsessed with all things wool. Especially cashmere! So when Amanda generously sent me a pair of cashmere longies I was over the moon! Cashmere is the softest material I know, all while allowing one to stay warm in the winter and cool in the summer. I love that EJ has something so soft and wonderful to wear to bed at night. Also, our longies have a double layer of wool, with a heartier wool in the soaker area sewn right in to the inside. We have used these longies for a couple weeks now and we have never had a leak or compression wetness. The fit is perfect on my hard to fit toddler. EJ has short legs, chubby thighs, and a 19 inch waist and she was able to send us something that fits like a glove! Another thing about Amanda's shop is that she strives to make wool affordable for all. Almost all of her wool in under $20 so there is something for everyone. Her what she says:
"One of my main goals in making my diaper covers is to make wool affordable so that more people will be willing to try it. I got in to cloth diapering to try to save some money (among other things), so I couldn't justify paying $30 or $40 on one diaper cover--no matter how cute it was! Especially considering how fast babies grow.

I'm lucky enough to have learned to sew as a child, so now I'd like to offer some cute, functional, eco-friendly, well crafted, recycled wool diaper covers to others who might not be able to pick up a pre-loved sweater at a thrift store and turn it into and item of baby-couture. Don't be intimidated by wool, either. It's not hard to care for! "

The best part of all of this, is that Amanda is going to give one of you a wool soaker/longies of your choice. You pick the size, let her know if you have a boy or girl, and whether you want a soaker or longies and she will do the rest!
All you have to do is be a public follower of this blog, visit Flora Gayle and leave a comment letting me know what item is your favorite!

For extra entries: (leave a separate comment for each)
1. Follow me on Twitter
2. Tweet about this giveaway and leave the link (can be done daily)
3. Blog about this giveaway (leave me the link)
4. Have the cool cloth button on your blog

Giveaway will end November 12/31/2010 at 12pm and the winner will be announced 1/2/2011 at 12pm. Good Luck!

Knit Together review/giveaway

2010-12-03T08:00:00.000-06:00

Beautiful right? Well I think it is no secret that I love wool. I believe there is a place for a PUL cover, but for me, wool is supreme. Especially with sensitive little ones with eczema and prone to rashes, wool is our best option! I have some super soakers for bed time, but what about a perfect daytime wool cover? Something super light weight and breathable. Something super cute :)

Knit Together has the answer!

These shorties are so darn cute I can barely stand it. For review I received a pair of shorties in this gorgeous turquoise color. Right from opening the package, I knew I would love these. Debbie, the owner of Knit Together, has an amazing gift! I only wish I could knit like this. She also hand dyes her wool yarn! Talk about talent!

The shorties she makes are flawless and squishy soft. They are only one layer which makes them ideal for day time use. My favorite thing about them is that they have a drawstring waist. I just pull them on, just like shorts-Ha!, and then tie them up. Never an issue with fit this way! I bet these will be our go to spring/summer cover. Ej loves them because of how comfy they are for him. No tags, no tight waist to hinder movement. Perfect for my little "on the go" EJ. I truly think everyone should have a cover like this. If your babe needs to air out, especially during illness or during a bad diaper rash, but you don't want them to go completely coverless, you have to get one of these. Or two! have you seen all the colors!! Sigh :) Also for a hand knit item her shipping was super fast! I was amazed at how quickly it came!

The best part of all of this is that Debbie is going to give one of you a pair of her fab shorties! You pick the color and the size and she will get them to you!

All you have to do is be a public follower of this blog, visit Knit Together, and leave a comment telling me what color/size you would want if you won! That's it!

For extra entries: (leave a separate comment for each)

1. Follow me on twitter

2. Tweet about this giveaway and leave me the link (can be done daily)

3. Blog about this giveaway and leave me the link

4. Have the cool cloth button on your blog

Giveaway will end 12/31/2010 at 12pm and the winner will be announced 1/2/2011 at 12pm. Good luck!

My Eco baby review

2010-12-02T08:00:00.002-06:00

My Eco baby is a wool lovers paradise. An adorable etsy shop, owned by Gabriela, and has the most gorgeous wool sweaters and longies. Her creations are just to die for. With a heart after all things eco friendly and talent for recycling wool, her wool sweaters and longies are one of a kind.

The thing I love about the longies she sent me for review, is the fact that they have elastic in the waist. With a generous and roomy fit, the elastic is key. Now you don't have to worry about your little ones cover constantly coming off, or pulling up their pants 10 million times! My Eco Baby longies are only one layer of wool, so this is a great day time cover. Now that it is fall, and now that it is getting chilly out, a nice pair of wool longies are perfect. Put on your favorite prefold or fitted, and slide these right on over it! Diaper cover and pants in one! Plus, with as cute as these are you wouldn't want to cover them up!

These longies will definitely fit over the bulkiest of diapers. EJ often has a nice big fluffy bum, and these longies fit over it with room to spare! He can move around, run, play, and they stay up perfectly without restricting movement.

So head on over to My Eco Baby and have a look around! Whether it is a gorgeous sweater or some comfy longies for your little eco baby, I know you will find the perfect gift!

Crunchy Angel-Toodle Bugz (review/giveaway)

2010-12-01T08:00:00.002-06:00

Crunchy Angel is a cloth diaper boutique selling cloth diapers and accessories! When Wendy contacted me, I was thrilled! Wendy is super sweet and has excellent customer service! She always responds super fast to my emails and always goes above and beyond helping her customers.

Wendy generously sent me two pairs of Toodle Bugz leg warmers for review. I choose the Bambooz Navy and she sent me the Monkeying Around pair as well.

The first thing I will say is that I love these leg warmers. I have a ton of babylegs and I do like them, but these are so much better in my honest opinion. For one, they are sized so you can ensure a perfect fit, they are super soft, and they have gentle elastic so no red marks on your little ones thunder thighs! I got the toddler size and they fit EJ perfectly and they also fit Austin! The bamboo pair I received are a just a bit softer than the regular and almost silky. I love bamboo so much! The Monkeying around print is adorable and EJ loves the "mokeys". I have washed both pairs several times and they show no wear at all.

These are perfect for under pants to add extra warmth in the winter, great for those who are still crawling to protect their knees, and great for quick diaper changes! You don't have to hassle with pulling down the pants first and then leaving their little legs exposed while doing so. Toodle Bugz would also be perfect for your arms! I have Austin wear them with short sleeved shirts to warm up his little arms when he gets chilly! So versatile! I just love leg warmers and Toodle Bugz are the best I have tried.

The best part is that Wendy has generously offered to give one of you a fabulous pair of Toodle Bugz in your choice of print and size! All you have to do is be a public follower of this blog, visit Crunchy Angel and leave a comment telling me what pair of Toodle Bugz you would love!

For extra entries: (leave a separate comment for each)

1. Follow me on Twitter

2. be a fan of Wendy's facebook page

2. Tweet about this giveaway and leave me the link (can be done daily)

3. Blog about this giveaway and leave the link

4. Have the cool cloth button on your blog

Giveaway will end 12/31/2010 at 12pm and the winner will be announced 1/2/2011 at 12pm. Good Luck!

Winner of the Petsmart/visa giveaway!!!

2010-12-01T06:00:00.004-06:00

Congrats Trista! You won the $150 petsmart giftcard and the $50 Visa giftcard!!! I sent you an email :)

Anonymous said...

I follow you on twitter @tristawalker007

tristawalker007@yahoo.com

Thank you everyone who entered!!!

Bitty Bumz review

2010-11-30T08:01:00.001-06:00

Bitty Bumz Boutique is another etsy favorite of mine! Amanda is the genius behind these adorable diapers and she is amazingly talented. Just take a look at these little works of art~

Tell me those are not the cutest things you have seen! Perfect for the holidays! Bitty Bumz diapers are unique in that they are a one size fleece all in two. The shell is fleece with a snap in soaker on the inside. You can choose either a snap in contoured bamboo soaker, or a snap in petal soaker. I had the petal soaker and it was fabulous! These diapers fit pretty trim and are really squishy soft. They stretch great to get a perfect fit and are not bulky at all between the legs. And again, these are so so soft!! Not all diapers that claim to be "one size" really go the distance, but with these diapers I truly feel as if they could fit through potty training. There was still room to grow for EJ but I can also see it fitting much smaller babies with how trim it is. These diapers have a wonderful fit! Also, we only washed our diaper once and wore it for almost two hours. The insert was barely wet so I call that a success! It was super easy to snap in and snap out as well. You could definitely reuse this shell if you needed and either snap in a another soaker or even use a prefold trifolded. All in all fabulous diaper!

Now the fun part!!! One of you is going to win one of these fabulous diapers!
All you have to do is be a public follower of this blog via google friend connect, visit Bitty Bumz Boutique and leave a comment letting me know which one you want if you win!

For additional entries (leave a separate comment for each)
1. Follow me on twitter
2. Tweet about this giveaway and leave me the link (can be done daily)
3. Blog about this giveaway and leave me the link
4. Have the cool cloth event button on your site!

Giveaway will end December 15th, 2010 at 12pm and winner will be announced December 16th, 2010 at 12pm. Good Luck!

Some fine print:
Now although I give this diaper 2 thumbs up, I do have to let you know I found out EJ is sensitive to fleece. Since wearing this diaper (and him having a reaction to it) we have tested several different fleece items on him and he broke out in blisters to all of them. Even his fleece blankets when rubbed on his skin directly cause a horrible rash. This is in no way related to Bitty Bumz diapers and I wish he wasn't reactive because his diaper is soooo cute! Fleece sensitivities are extremely rare but if your little one is also sensitive, please realize this diaper would not be for them.

Abby's Lane review and giveaway

2010-11-30T08:00:00.002-06:00

Abby's Lane is a fabulous diaper shop owned by Stephanie. In her own words:

"Hello! Welcome to Abby's Lane, a unique boutique offering products to make your parenting experience enjoyable and a little closer to nature. I am Stephanie, owner and founder of Abby's Lane, which opened in September of 2004, we are currently located in Northern Virginia. My husband, Phillip, and I are proud parents to our 3 beautiful daughters and one little son.

Our cloth diaper journey began when Abby was 3 months old, Camille, Lucy and Sebastian have been cloth diapered from birth. I was a reluctant participant at first, I believed the myth that cloth diapering is messy, messy, and...well...messy! I assure you that is entirely false! Cloth diapering has been the most wonderful experience, and if my husband is an advocate, anyone can do it! The products I carry at Abby's Lane are carefully chosen to make your cloth diapering experience an easy and enjoyable one."

What I personally love most about Abby's Lane is Stephanie herself. Sure the free shipping on all orders is a huge plus as well as the vast selection of cute cloth diapers! But her customer service is what has made me the most loyal of customers.

First of all when I received my Blueberry diaper for review from her, it had a slight manufactures defect in the bamboo lining. I contacted Stephanie and told her and she responded within an hour. She paid my shipping to and from, and sent me a brand new diaper within three days. Fabulous! Although defects are rare in diapers, they can and will happen on occasion. Knowing you have someone backing you and who will always go above and beyond to correct any mistake (even in this case it was not her own!) shows what kind of company she has. Furthermore, she ships FAST. No waiting and waiting for your fluffy mail to arrive!

As if this wasn't enough, I have been emailing Stephanie for about a month now about some serious stink issues we have been having recently. She always responds right away and has given me lots and lots of great tips. She is patient and relentless in her pursue to make cloth enjoyable for everyone. Sure enough after trying almost everything, it was Stephanie who has helped me refine my wash routine and I am happy to say we have zero stink and zero rash. She has made all the difference for me. That is the difference in a person who loves what they do! We have even talked on the phone and she is always willing to help! I don't know how she does it with four little ones!

Needless to say, Abby's Lane is by far one of the best companies I have had the privilege of working with.

Blueberry diapers have long been considered one of the best. With there generous one size sizing and their luxurious minky outer, they left little room for improvement. That was of course, unless your little one was sensitive to polyester! Almost all pockets out right now have a fleece or a microsuede lining on the inside. EJ has never been able to wear these diapers with out getting a rash and therefore although I wanted a blueberry for my own, I never could get one. Until now ;)

Blueberry now makes a bamboo pocket, with the inner lining made of a bamboo/organic cotton blend! So of course I had to try it and I have to say I am impressed! The outside minky of the diaper is buttery soft, like a velvet. I love having something this soft for EJ to wear. The inner is super silky soft as well. Plus the great thing about this diaper is it is a pocket, so you can customize the absorbency. We love this diaper for outings, or for when we need a quick change. EJ has worn it over night but I prefer my fitteds and wool for that. All in all this is the greatest pocket I have tried. Natural fibers, great absorbency, snap closure, and so stinking cute. Also EJ is 21 months and 25 pounds. This diaper fits him great and we can even wear it on the medium setting. He wont be out growing this any time soon! I imagine it would be a bit bulky on a small baby, but for my toddler the fit is wonderful. You simply must try this diaper!

How cute is this cow print??

So the best part of all this? Abby's Lane has generously offered to give away a $10 store credit to her shop! I can think of about 100 different things I would want that $10 for! Maybe you have been looking at a new diaper, some new detergent, or maybe a diaper sprayer? Now you will have an excuse to splurge :)

All you have to do is be a public follower of this blog and visit Abby's Lane and leave a comment letting me know what item you would purchase with your gift certificate!

For extra entries: (leave a separate comment for each of the following)

1.Follow Abby's Lane on Twitter

2. Follow me on twitter

3. Like Abby's Lane on facebook

4. Tweet about the giveaway and leave me the link (can be done daily)

5. Blog about this giveaway and leave me the link

6. Have the "cool cloth" button on your blog

Giveaway will end December 31, 2010 at 12pm. Winner will be posted on January 2, 2010 at 12pm. Good luck!

let the cool cloth event begin!!!!

2010-11-29T11:10:00.002-06:00

Are y'all excited???? You should be!! Starting tomorrow I will be hosting reviews/giveaways everyday during the cool cloth event! Diapers, discount codes, wool covers, detergent, you name it!

I love cloth diapering and I am so thrilled to share it with you! Here we go! See you tomorrow!

perfection is

2010-11-15T16:57:00.001-06:00

Cold weather, warm snuggles, good food, and fun crafts. And all of this with two little boys whom I love more than life.

Yep, that's perfection.

update and some pictures

2010-11-12T13:07:00.000-06:00

Well for starters EJ is now 21 months old! Bitter sweet! I love that he is growing and changing, but just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that he is almost two years old. How is it possible that my baby is almost two?

He had his regular hematology appointment yesterday. His ANC was the highest it has ever been and our Dr believes he is on the cusp of growing out of his neutropenia! We are hoping for a complete recovery by this time next year! Can you believe that? This a answered prayer in a most amazing way.
In other news, he did lose some weight (more on that in a moment) and weighs 25 lbs even and is 32 inches long. Still my small fry :)

EJ has been referred to speech therapy though, for two reasons. They believe he has a language/speech delay and he has some eating, swallowing, and chewing issues. The speech delay I am not too sure about. He has about 25 words he can say. Most he can say pretty clearly. He does mumble "baby talk" most of the time with these words mixed in but I think that is pretty normal? The thing they are concerned about is the fact that he doesn't group any words together. He has never made a phrase such as "ball please" etc. So we will see what the speech therapist say.

The eating issues I totally agree with. EJ has had food issues his whole life. His current problems are that he doesn't eat and when he does he wont swallow. If it is something he really likes (like grapes) he will put it in his mouth then spit it out. Grab another bite it and then spit it out. He does this with the majority of his food. Or the other extreme is that he will swallow it whole. I don't know if he just don't know how to chew or if it is a texture thing. I am not sure but I am hopeful they will help up work it out. He needs to gain weight! I can handle picky but this is just a whole different level. Anyways...

He is a super sweet, active, playful, creative, and energetic little guy. I just love him to pieces and am thankful everyday he is mine.

Austin is doing great and I had a moment yesterday that made me burst with pride! Yall know we are homeschooling and he started reading a little over a month ago. All along when he wants to write a letter or a word he asks me how to spell it. Yesterday for Veterans day (his favorite holiday as he lives and breathes everything military and wants to be a marine) he made a picture. On it he wrote "US ORME". Do you get it? o-r-m-e spells army! He wrote his first word all by himself! I could not be any prouder of him. He continues to blow me away every single day.

Soccer has ended and he is looking forward to next season already. We displayed his trophy in his room and he is beyond proud he was able to score a goal that final game. I just could not be more proud of either of my boys.

In some random news, the foliage here is peaking and is gorgeous. Fall is such a beautiful season. I was driving around yesterday just admiring God's beauty. I think it really reflects on who He is.

Oh and also, the gnats are just about gone. Thank goodness. I have regained some sanity and am feeling much better. Finley still does not sleep at all. Up every morning by at least 4am. Adam did take him though for two whole days so I could sleep. It is amazing what difference sleep makes. Thank you Adam!

Yesterday we went to the park and had a picnic and it was wonderful. The weather was amazing at 74 degrees and we enjoyed it so much. Austin caught a little fish out of the lake with a net and that just made his day! They played on the playground, and we had a nice walk. I love the outdoors. Today it is storming (another cold front coming through) and I am glad we got to enjoy that yesterday.

One final thing. My "cool cloth" event will be starting soon and I will have a lot of reviews and giveaways planned. I can't wait to dive into cloth diapering and share it with you!

(the sun was in our eyes something awful, that's why Austin's arm is up and we are all squinting)

recipe wednesday- lemon ricotta cookies

2010-11-10T12:22:00.001-06:00

Umm I can not tell you how much I love these cookies! One of my favorite for sure! So light and moist, they are perfect!

Here is my recipe:
2 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 stick butter
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
10 oz whole milk ricotta
5-6 oz plain yogurt
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 lemon zested or 1 teaspoon oil of lemon

Glaze:
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 lemon zested or 1/4 teaspoon oil of lemon

combine flour, baking powder and salt. In another bowl combine butter and sugar-beat until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time-beating until incorporated. Add ricotta, yogurt, lemon juice, and zest. Beat. Stir in dry ingredients.

Drop the batter (2 tablespoons per cookie) onto a cookie sheet. Bake at 375 for maybe 15 minutes. You want to bake them only until the very under edge has some browning. That is it. With this cookie it is better to under bake a bit than over bake so be careful! Let cool and then glaze :)
*Note-I usually set my oven to 350 so I make sure not to over bake. You want these to be super moist!
Enjoy!

beauty is a beast (the most random post ever)

2010-11-09T09:42:00.008-06:00

So in an effort for a little self improvement, I decided to give myself a pedicure. It had been a long time to say the least. Well my friends, want to see what a pedicure gone wrong looks like? here ya go.
Yes that is blood. Nice. It took four hours for it to stop bleeding.
Beauty is a beast, ya know?

Speaking of beasts, we have a gnat problem. It would be funny but it is driving me crazy. Big fat gnats, flying around taunting me all day long. I kill at least 10 a day but they keep coming back. We have never had bug issues here. Ever. Not flies, roaches, spiders. Nothing. But now we have gnats. Big fat gnats.

On a slightly less neurotic topic, have you seen the new releases from Anthropologie? (swoon) I love them.

And that is all. I told you it was random. What do you expect when I wake up at 4 every morning. Why do I wake up at 4 you ask?
Finley. does. not. sleep.
He wakes up at four every morning and will yowl until you wake up too. He has food, water, clean litter, and a snuggly bed with a heating pad. He wants someone to keep him company. So a toddler that wakes we up multiple times every night and a kitten that wakes me for the day way before I should ever be up. Win win if you ask me!
If you have any tips please let me know. I'm desperate. As if a crazy random post like this doesn't scream "help me" enough on its own.

clean and green-baking soda (the good, the bad, the ugly)

2010-11-08T12:23:00.006-06:00

Can you guess what this little cutie and I have in common?
We both have horrible hair issues.

Hair is never something I have loved about myself. Limp, baby fine, and with a tendency for dryness, I have never really liked my hair. Then there are my "baby hairs" that choose to stick out of my head like lightning rods at all the right moments. Yep, my hair and I are best friends.

So when I heard about the baking soda epidemic going around and how fabulous it was, I had to try it out. Not only was replacing your shampoo and conditioner with baking soda super green, it also saves you some green. Hair care products can get expensive especially when you use designer products. Or Head and Shoulders. Just sayin.

Anyways, everyone I knew who tried it had rave reviews. Their hair was moisturized, soft, silky, clean, and chemical free. Some said it gave new life to their dull ugly hair. Well, sign me up please!! Maybe I too could be a no poo convert.

So, I tried it.

Before I share my results, I wanted to talk about baking soda and how great it is.
I use it all the time in various ways. To clean with (it acts as a fab scrubbing agent that is also totally safe for small children and the environment), I use it to bake with (obviously), you can use it added to your toothpaste to help whiten your teeth (just dip a tooth brush, with toothpaste already on it, right into some baking soda), and it can even be for you hair as a great clarifying booster.

When I used it as a booster to my shampoo I was blown away by how great it was. I added about a teaspoon to my regular amount of shampoo and mixed together to make my paste. I had simply brought a little cup into the shower and just dumped it into my hand with the shampoo. I then washed as usual and then conditioned really well as baking soda can be drying. The results were amazing! My hair was so soft, like baby soft. It made me think even more about these ladies (and men) who had replaced their shampoo with it completely. If a little was this great, surely a lot would be even better!! My oh my how this thought gets me into trouble every time!

So back to my results. For me it was horrible. I'm just going to be honest here. Not everything that works for some will work for you.
I did it several times, using different formulas in hopes to make it work.
My hair had never felt more dry. Well once, when I spent 12 hours at the salon getting my almost black hair bleached to platinum. That dry. It felt like straw and was horrid. My scalp itched beyond belief and also broke out. I even tried a vinegar rinse as suggested to help condition and it did nothing but made me smell like a pickle all day.
I wanted to love it. I really did. Unfortunately, I am just now starting to get my hair back to normal. There is A LOT of deep conditioning going on at my house.

I have pretty healthy hair despite it lacking movie star quality, but it takes a lot of conditioner to make it that way. Perhaps if you have naturally healthy hair and don't have to use conditioner every shower, then this could be perfect for you. Just be careful. Baking soda, I still love you and all your great uses, but my hair is just not one of them.

I want to go green and do my part. And I do every day. I am slowly converting all areas of our life to be more eco conscious. But at the same time it has to work for us.

So I suppose there is no miracle cure for my hair after all. But that's okay! Duck hair is totally going to become the next trend. Just wait and see.

picture overload

2010-11-07T14:35:00.005-06:00

Well I was determined to get some "Christmas card" quality pictures today of the boys together. Together... Ha! Although it didn't turn out quite like I was hoping I still got some good shots! The bad side is that I think my camera needs some repair work. It is not focusing like it use to at all and it having a really hard time in lower light such as this morning. Manual focus helps, but is near impossible to manually focus with two very active boys. Maybe it is time to get ole faithful a check up.
So here are the pictures from today. I may need to repeat the shoot a bit later, but what do you think? Are there any winners?

grabbing the falling leaves

I think this is the biggest contender, but Austin looks so sad in this...

I love this picture, but it is so blurry. darn camera.

poor thing has inherited my chapped lip gene. No matter how much chap stick we wear, we always have dragon lips.

blurry but how could I NOT post this picture!

I see you too buddy :)

leaf fights are the best!

crusty nose at all, man I love this little boy

So what do you think?

Don't forget about my petsmart/visa giveaway! Don't miss out, enter here

CSN review/ Petsmart giveaway ($200 value)

2010-11-05T13:10:00.009-05:00

Well I am happy to once more introduce you to CSN. I know they are no stranger around here and I can't say enough good things about them.

For review, I chose to receive something for the newest member of our family, Finley!

I really wanted a feeder for him, so if we ever had to leave for the day, or overnight, I know he has plenty of water and food. I feel it is a way of being responsible especially with hospital visits being a reality this season. If I didn't make it home in time to feed the little guy I would feel horrible. Well now I don't have to worry about it!

Thanks to the petmate pet cafe, he has all the food and water he could possible want! The first day he was a bit leery but now he loves it. He knows that it is always there when he needs it. Did I mention that he hops? Like a little bunny! I love to watch him hop, run, and romp around the house! He is getting so big now! Anyways.....

We also received a nice new hooded litter box that he loves! It is much bigger that his old one and he has plenty of room to grow into it! The litter box is also by petmate and I love it. This brand is so wonderful and equally affordable. All three pieces are very easy to use which is key for me. The food and water containers do not leak and always give just enough food and water. They are easy to clean and maintenance free.

The little box is great and comes with its own carbon filter. We haven't had any odor at all with it. The lid comes off easily which allows you access to scoop it out, but it also actually snaps down well so you can lift it by the handle. All in all I am thrilled with what we received and I know Finley is as well!

What really made an impact on me though, was the way CSN ships things. Not only is it fast, even for large items, but it always packed so carefully. I have never received anything damaged and they don't use packing peanuts! They use a more eco friendly choice, it is plastic, but at least it is recycled and recyclable. That's a big plus. There is no waste and I appreciate that. It is nice to see companies making better choices, not just for us, but for our four legged friends as well.

In honor of our sweet furry friends, I have a great giveaway for you! We all know Petsmart as a great company who loves and supports animals of all kinds. They offer everything you could possibly need and have great prices and excellent service. We love going there and looking around. They also have classes available and are always able assist you with questions and give a lot of support.

Well, I have a $150 Petsmart giftcard and a $50 visa gift card to give to one of you! This should get you everything you need to go out and adopt a new furry buddy, or to take care of one you already call your own! You could even use the visa card to take them in for their annual exam at the vet!

With the holiday season here, we don't want to forget about our most loyal companions!

To enter to win these two fab giftcards, all you have to do is follow me publicly on google friend connect, visit CSN and Petsmart and leave a comment telling me what you would buy for your pet! That is it!

If you want more chances to win leave a separate comment for each of the following:

1. Follow me on Twitter

2. Tweet about this giveaway and leave me the link (can be done daily)

3. Have my button on your blog

4. Blog about this giveaway and leave me the link

This contest expires November 30, 2010 at 12 pm. Winner will be announced on December 1, 2010. Good luck!

Fine print:

Although CSN generously supplied the items for review, they did not sponsor the giveaway items from Petsmart and Visa. If you should win this giveaway you will be notified, and the items will be shipped directly to you . You will have 72 hours to respond or a new winner will be selected.

recipe wednesday- granola (a day late)

2010-11-04T15:52:00.003-05:00

Well sweet Ej has another bug, so I am a little preoccupied right now. However I still wanted to get this recipe up! It is Alton Brown's and I LOVE it!

Ingredients
3 cups rolled oats
1 cup slivered almonds
1 cup cashews (I used pecans and walnuts, chopped)
3/4 cup shredded sweet coconut
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons maple syrup
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3/4 teaspoon salt (this makes it a bit salty especially for cereal. I like to use less)
1 cup raisins (I didn't use raisins in mine)
Directions
Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.

In a large bowl, combine the oats, nuts, coconut, and brown sugar.

In a separate bowl, combine maple syrup, oil, and salt. Combine both mixtures and pour onto 2 sheet pans. Cook for 1 hour and 15 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes to achieve an even color.

Remove from oven and transfer into a large bowl. Add raisins and mix until evenly distributed.

(I double the recipe every time and it lasts me a month. I love granola with yogurt in the morning!)

of all the falls

2010-10-31T13:35:00.006-05:00

Years have gone and passed like whispers in the night. Flying by as almost invisible. But then there is a moment that takes your breathe. Or maybe, that moment actually allows you to breathe.

To breathe in the scent of life all around you. To truly feel as if your senses have burst into life.

These moments, these beautiful things of perfection, these are what matter most. These are what we will carry with us always.

The wind singing through the trees, the falling leaves that have given their last, the squirrels chattering, crisp breezes against bare cheeks, and two beautiful boys full of life and promise.

These are the moments. Of all the falls, this, now, is my favorite. I will savor every sweet moment...

wonderful beautiful

2010-10-29T15:47:00.003-05:00

Wonderful, Beautiful, Baby

recipe wednesday

2010-10-27T11:47:00.006-05:00

The best breakfast- Pumpkin muffins!

15 ounces canned pumpkin

1 3/4 cups sugar

2/3 cup vegetable oil

2 teaspoon vanilla

4 large eggs

3 cups all purpose or whole wheat flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 chopped nuts (optional)

1/2 cup raisins (optional)

When I made these I added extra pumpkin (this made them super moist!) and added nutmeg and ginger (about three shakes of ginger and one good shake of nutmeg-just do it too taste!). I wanted it to have a pumpkin pie flavor. They are the most moist muffins I have ever made and taste delicious! Just add all the ingredients together and bake at 350 until a tooth pick inserted in the middle of your largest muffin comes out clean! Do not over bake. Enjoy!

Is your home a "safe" place?

2010-10-25T09:19:00.008-05:00

Well, instead of thinking over and over how I wanted to start this series, I am just diving in with a topic that has been on my heart this morning.

Is your home a "safe" place?

I am sure you have heard of the countless recalls that have been happening lately. Cribs, strollers, high chairs, car seats, Tylenol, teething tablets, etc etc. The list goes on and on. Whether voluntary or mandatory, it seems as though everything we have trusted is being recalled. And as mothers, our children's safety and well being comes first doesn't it? Do the recalls make you upset? They do for me. I worry about my babies all day. I love them and want what is best. When I hear about a company that has let us down again, I worry more. As if I need more of that. But is their well being really first. Am I, their mother, doing everything I can to ensure that?

For me, the answer is no. Can I recall myself? Most days, that's exactly what I need.

Although we can not control third parties, and the sad fact is that there will probably always be recalls, we have the ability to affect them emotionally and spiritually every day. Aren't these things just as important?

As mothers, our to-do lists are extensive. The house is never clean, the laundry is never finished, there are errands to run, and noses to wipe. Diapers, thirteen clothing changes for the messy toddler, and the cat always needs a playmate. And in the hurry and rush of it all, we are missing the most important thing. Our children.

How many times a day does a plea for a book to be read get the standard "not now sweetie" ? How many times does "just another hug and kiss" get forgotten? How often do we forgo some floor play time for some floor cleaning? Why when in a rush, the first thing cancelled in our daily home school curriculum is our devotional? Why is the academic material superior to God's word?
Why are we measuring ourselves by all the wrong standards?

The truth is that my children's spiritual and emotional growth has not received my best effort. And for this I take full blame.

I yell too much and am too quick to snap at a cup of spilled milk or a lost shoe. I chalk it up to stress, but the stress is self inflicted to fulfill some absurd standard. Well I am finished with that.

Our homes should be a safe place. Nurturing, nourishing, loving and filled with an abundance of patience and peace. Children should feel comfortable growing emotionally and encouraged to grow spiritually. We are the sole providers for these needs and too often we fail them.

As a family, we home school, cloth diaper, co-sleep, attend church every Sunday, talk about God, eat healthy meals, and wear clean clothes. But the daily loving and learning? The tiny moments that really matter? I missed that completely.

So my challenge to you and myself, is to create a home that is a safe place. A place where the Lord leads. A quiet retreat that fosters growth of all kinds, both of little hearts and little minds. And you know what? It starts with us.

Today, I will not yell or raise my voice once. I will not say no to another book or another hug. I will use my soft and patience voice when it is hardest too. I will teach about Jesus and not only with words, but with actions. I will talk to my children and really play with them. I will get outside for some fresh air and run with them. I will laugh with them.

I will turn off my computer and live.

When it is all said and done, and our children are grown, these are things I want to give to them. I want to be there, really there. I want to be an arrow for Jesus and a mom who gave it her all.

So tell me, is your home a "safe" place? Or are you running to fast that you miss what is right in front of you?

it's here and I'm not happy about it

2010-10-21T13:09:00.004-05:00

Update:
Well it took two trips to Children's Medical Center, two ivs, and two doses of iv antibiotics, but our little man is getting better! Thank you for all of your prayers!

Well today marks day 1 of the "flu" season here at our house. Sweet Ej has a fever.

Adam, Austin, and EJ went to the park this morning but when they came back EJ was fussing and felt hot to me. Sure enough....100 degrees via the temple scanner. Nice.

I know you all remember last year. EJ almost didn't survive flu season. It doesn't seem possible that he was first admitted a year ago this month. How does a year slip by so fast? On the other hand, I am not ready to face this season of illness. I have to make some choices now. What level of isolation am I comfortable with and what is necessary. We have an appointment on November 11th with our hematologist and we will be going over everything. I have to admit I have been spoiled by our uneventful summer. It was nice, everything was normal. All seasons change though.

So could you say a small prayer for us, that this fall will bring health? Also maybe another, that his current fever stays low. 100.5 is the point that we have to go in for blood cultures and I really don't want that. Thank you all so very much!

loving the indoors

2010-10-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

Fall, Fall, FALL!!

I think it is obvious I love fall! I mean, I only say it every post :)

Does anyone else feel like nesting when crisper air hits? From decor, food, candles, and even a fab new end table.

Well one of my favorite companies, CSN, is going to help with my nesting by letting me do another review! I have to admit I am thrilled! I love this company so much! So anticipate that and also something special for you!

carrot apple soup

2010-10-20T12:31:00.003-05:00

I made this last night and it is delicious! Such a great fall recipe!

Carrot Apple soup
1 medium onion
1 leek, white part only
1 lb carrots (peeled and chopped into 1/2 inch slices)
1 tart apple like granny smith (peeled, cored, and chopped)
1 tb canola oil
3 cups chicken broth

Heat oil in a large heavy skillet or dutch oven. Chop the onion and the leek and saute in skillet with oil until translucent. Add carrots and apple and saute for 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Add chicken broth and bring to a boil.Reduce to low-medium heat and simmer for 30 minutes or until carrots are very soft. Once finished cooking, add in batches to a food processor and liquefy. Add more chicken stock if needed to reach desired consistency. Add back to skillet or dutch over and heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Then serve!

So good and so healthy! Enjoy!

meet finley

2010-10-18T16:57:00.005-05:00

Well our family has grown by four paws. Meet sweet Finley, our newest addition.

He is such a little snuggle bug and we are thrilled to have him!

Also, I wanted to let you all know I am allowing comments again. A lot of you have requested them and I have missed you all! Thank you for all of your support over the past year. You all mean so much!

just one of the herd

2010-10-18T16:22:00.003-05:00

could I share this one prayer with you today?

2010-10-14T14:48:00.007-05:00

Could I take but a moment and sit in this stillness, and share just one prayer with you today?

That our feet, and not just our hearts, be prompted to move.

Our path was laid out by Jesus Christ himself, but do we dare follow? Do we dare to even try to comprehend what living with out all this North American gluttony would be like? Do we even attempt to bridge the gap?

I am struggling today with the weight of knowing I am but a soul longing. I long to not be a part of this world, only to be in it but not of it. I long to see Him face to face. Are my good intentions even worthy of being in our Kings presence? How am I anything but filth?

Grace.

But where does grace end? Where am I and who am I in this world? Like stagnant water we breed disease and sin. Not moving in any direction, even with great intentions, we are still useless stagnant water. Waiting for a hurricane of circumstance to move us and breathe new life, but what if that never comes? Or worse, what if it comes and we still aren't moved? Or maybe our hearts are broken, but our feet never take a step. Or our minds are filled with conviction but we never give of ourselves. What of stagnant people?

Prayer.

I pray for God to speak to me and to show me the way. I pray that I will then heed that call and follow. But some days I don't even know what direction I am headed and most days I feel so lost. I take it to Him in prayer, and prayer is powerful. I have learned to prayer expectantly, not only hopefully, and I do. But when I open my eyes, and I am once again surrounded not by Him, but of my world, I then become lukewarm. How does the flame that He ignites, turn to but a warmth in moments. How is the passion of a sermon tucked into the depths of our hearts to just then fizzle and die? How do I take the jump into the radical? What is radical when you have a husband and two small children?

Act.

We are called to move and act. We are all called to be disciples. We are called to give and then to give more. We are called to love our neighbor as ourselves. How often do we see this command acted out? Where is Jesus in a self loving, self promoting, materialistic world? And where do we belong, as His followers, in all this chaos?

My heart hurts for all those in need. For all that don't know a mother's touch. For all of those who are hungry, not only for food, but for love. For those without clothing and water. For those without shelter or a pillow to lay their head. For those with broken hearts and broken homes. For all that NEED.
My heart is broken but do my, or your, feet ever take a step?

So although I do not know the answers, I know who does. Although I am filthy rags, I am saved by grace. Although I fail, He conquers. Although I am sin, He is perfection.

So dear friends, on this day, my prayer is that our feet, not only our hearts, will be prompted to move. And that we may obey.

What has the Lord been prompting you to do? Have you listened?

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Matthew 25:34-40

sneaky snapshots

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Sometimes when they are being really quiet, they aren't up to no good! Austin sat reading to EJ for almost an hour. I sat peeking around the door watching, thinking my heart was about to explode. Man I love those boys!

And yes I know these are horrible quality. I was way out of range for my flash and the natural light is not so great in their room. But I don't care. They are priceless. Oh and yes I do believe that is slobber on the arm rail in one of those pictures! Ha. The joys of boys :)They melt my heart!

For 20 months

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For 20 months, EJ has been here with us. Growing, playing, learning, laughing, and loving. We are thrilled to have him and count every day as a blessing. It is true ya know. God really does give you just what you need when you need it.

love everything that is going on in this picture!

alone at last...

brothers

love photoshop

soccer star

watching the game

action!

I never knew how much I needed these two boys until I was given them. I am so blessed and so thankful!
EJ goes back to the hematologist soon and I can't wait to see if he has grown any! He sure is changing in other ways! Just this week he started saying "phone" and he is now saying fish perfectly.His favorite thing is still a "ball" and telling people "bye". He says "night night" when he is tired and "please" when he wants something! "Love you" still sounds like "ov ewww" and his kisses melt my heart.
He absolutely loves soccer and will run onto the field in a moments notice. He can already kick the soccer ball all around the field. Watch out world!
Austin is of course still in love with them and they are playing army as I type. They normally play as puppies and crawl around the house barking and panting. I love that their imaginations are so intact and that they can feed off of each other. I am so blessed to be able to watch these two brothers play together. How I am worthy to be blessed with such beautiful boys, I will never know. I am just filled to overflowing.
Thank you for 20 months baby boy. Lets slow down just a little and not get to two so quickly, okay ;)