Well it is an odd feeling indeed. I am here on the other side. Texas.
Not to long ago I wrote from my living room floor in Florida in anticipation of
our journey here. And now, I sit on my living room floor again. With my
belongings in our POD out front, and a few scattered boxes on the floor,
I find myself struggling tonight.
It is as if a fog has settled in my life. A horrible and very dense fog.
I feel lost and just a little worn. Lately it seems life has been an uphill
battle and it has taken its toll.
Adam lost his job.
Today as we attempt to settle into our new home, we watched in awe as a huge
tree in our front yard was trimmed. This tree was taller than our two story
home and half as wide.
I had never seen someone trim a tree like this and it was amazing. Two men
climbed to the very top of this tree (an activity that would sent me into an
anxiety attack!) and cut down all the branches they could reach with their
chain saws. At first, when I saw the huge branches crashing down, I though
it was crazy to cut down all that healthy growth. It was sad actually.
However, eight hours later, the end result is beautiful. It does not even
look like the same tree.
I suppose we are like the tree. All the "growth" I though I needed and all
the extra foliage, just takes away from us. It may be hard to get trimmed and
it may be painful but afterwards? Beauty. True beauty the way God intended.
I know this is a lot of rambling but I promise it does have a point.
The fog I was referring to is wearing on me. The last two weeks I have desired
nothing but a home. I wanted a great home and all my things to fill it.
I wanted to buy all new decor, I wanted an endless list of things but none of
which were the Lord. I have been so overwhelmed to acquire all new belongings.
All new "foliage". It was my only mission.
Seek ye first the Kingdom! Does that ring a bell? Well, it is not what I sought.
I feel so pulled in so many directions. I forgot God in all the madness instead
of letting Him be in charge, I pushed Him to the back. And now...
Well....
I am having a hard time cutting the ties. Breaking free from all this world has
to offer. I wish I could have someone come and trim me. Or maybe that is what is
happening.
So we are starting our life in Texas as two unemployed people. Great.
Well Lord, I am putting you first. You have provided thus far.
At least we have a home and that is a wonderful start. I know Adam will find
another job. In the mean time, pray. I know I will.
And if you do not pray for me. Pray for you. Pray that the Lord works in
whatever area in your life that needs some pruning. Because, I know that the
end result will be far more beautiful than you could ever imagine!
