looking to the future!!

Expect an update (finally!) sometime soon!!

our hope endures

So our weekend was so busy but so great!
Saturday we went downtown to visit some friends and have lunch, then we went to Adam's Christmas party! The boys came with us and we had a good time. You would think that staying out till 10 would make the children sleep in...HA. Nope. I tell you Ej has an internal alarm clock! Do you all have a work Christmas party? If so where and what do you do??
Yesterday we had an amazing time at church, seriously I love that church!, and then Adam went Christmas shopping while the three of us took a nap :).

Easton had a really bad day Saturday and only nursed twice. However, yesterday he ate like a champ! Listen to this, he ate an entire four oz jar of bananas, a couple bites of bread, and a whole bowl of my chicken soup! He ate this all in one sitting! Praise God! He has not eaten that much since before September. Talk about making up for not eating on Saturday! If I can continue to get him to eat that much, we may have weight gain next week after all!!!! How great to not have him need that feeding tube!! I'm very excited about this!
In other news, a certain little boy was very excited about a certain football game! Any guesses who he was rooting for??

I realize I didn't post the entire weekend and I wanted to share something with you now that it is final.
Now that we are a one income family, I recently lost my work from home job due to Eastons health and hospitalizations, we are having to down size quite dramatically.
I could get into to the details and how it is affecting us, and maybe I will later, but for now I will just let you all know that we are moving (hopefully by the 1st, but maybe by January 15th...we will see) and trading down our vehicle. There are some very large things going on and I am so busy trying to prepare.

Sometimes, life can be so overwhelming. Sometimes, I have to make changes, not out of desire, but out of pure obedience to Him.

So I have a prayer request. Please pray for our entire family as we try to adjust to this new life. I am hopeful, always hopeful, the Lord will be faithful and see us through. However my family, and especially myself, we are only human and the day to day can seem so difficult sometimes. I know we will get through this but we need strength and peace.

Also I had another request. I sincerely hope you take me up on this offer. Each and every one of you has touched our hearts with your prayers, emails, and sweet words. Please leave me your prayer requests in the comments (you can be anonymous) or email me if you would like. My email is
ienault@yahoo.com
Please do this. Let me pray for each of you who has prayed for us. Nothing would make me happier! It can be anything, nothing is to small or too large. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe our prayers are never in vain. No prayer goes unheard before the throne, and no petition ever unanswered. It may not be the answer we are hoping. However, the Lord Almighty knows best, and His will is perfect!
I would be honored to pray for you!(or someone you know!)
I can even put them on my blog in a post, if you would like, so we can all pray for each other.
You all will never know how much you mean to us! Thank you!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7)

Will you still follow me?

Everyone has trials and hardships. Everyone has problems and some painful moments in their life.
In life we can not choose what life gives us, only how we react. It is our reactions that define us.
The truth is, life can be pretty hard sometimes....

I have had my share of trials. The past two years have been especially difficult.

But I wouldn't change that. The Lord uses these moments to mold us and to create within us who He knows we can be. I still love the analogy of river rocks.

The trials and tests push you to the limits. It stretches your faith almost to breaking. It tears you down but only to have the Lord build you right back up. The Lord is awesome at that! How thankful I am for rebuilding!

I have been asked why the Lord allows such painful and horrible things to happen to us. Why my faith remains so strong in the face of such heart ache. I will tell you.

I was a luke warm follower for a very long time. One foot on the alter, the other at the door. Knowing Jesus and following Jesus are different things.
I never gave Him my life. I never gave Him anything.... However, I was happy to demand everything. I thought I was a Christian and claimed to be. Then things started to change...

In the middle of our secondary infertility and in the heartache of my miscarriages I heard the Lord whisper to me. Calling me to Him.
Do you still love me? Will you still follow me if you do not get pregnant?
Saying yes to that was quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done. However, not to long after, I did get pregnant with Max.
Will you still love me and follow me if I take this precious baby to come home to be with me?
NO! NO! You can not take this baby from me. Not another one. I want this baby to be here on earth. I want this one to come home. I want...I want....
With tears in my eyes and a heavy heart, I answered yes Lord.
Max did go to be with the Lord and I had never know such pain nor such peace.

With the failing economy crumbling around us, with jobs and incomes lost. With hopes, homes, and dreams shattered. I once again heard Him calling.
Will you still love and follow me if you have nothing but me?
Looking into heaven and begging to see the path He had chosen and to see the purpose in all the loss, I kneeled and said yes Lord.
We did lose everything, and for the first time I knew what it was like to be completely sustained by Him alone.

With sweet Ej in my belly growing and thriving, despite our preterm labor and complications, I started to breathe again.

Once more , though, the Lord is calling.

Will you still love me and follow me? Will I still be your God? Will you still walk in faith if I ask EJ to be placed on the alter. If it is not my will for Ej to be healed on this side of eternity?
And friends, with faith and courage, I whisper YES Lord.

Yes Lord, YOU are my king, my Savior, no matter what! No matter what. My faith is no longer something I say but something I walk. I no longer expect for my wants and desires to be met. For when you let the Lord lead you, when you let Him work in your life, there might be will be pain. However, the reward, the beauty, the joy, the hope, the promise, the peace, is so much more than you can ever even imagine. If it takes the pain to have the joy, if it takes the pain to know the arms of Jesus, then yes Lord. I will take it all.

We were never promised an easy path. We were never promised smooth sailing. In fact the scripture promises the opposite. However, we were promised that we would never go alone. Jesus is there to carry, to comfort, to save. Jesus is always there...no matter what. The farther you lean, the stronger his grasp. He will never let you go.

So no matter what heart ache you have, no matter what path you are traveling, know this. The Lord our God has traveled it far in advance. He is waiting for you with outstretched arms. Just jump, lean, and give the pain to Him. The comfort and peace of Jesus is all encompassing and breathe taking. And.... it is yours.....

To read another story of sweet surrender and of answering yes lord! go here.

In His hands

Truths:
I do not have the answers.
I do not know what tomorrow brings.
I can not control the future (despite my desire too).
I am only human, and I can not do this by myself.

I believe in the one who does have the answers, even if the answers are not always what we desire.
I believe in the one who knows what tomorrow brings.
I believe in the one, who despite what tomorrow brings, will never leave me nor forsake me.
The one I believe in is almighty, sovereign, perfect. He is just, loving, all forgiving, and my Father. He carries me, He comforts me, and He guides me. He whispers in the silence. He heals, He gives, He mends. He pushes us to become what only He knows we can. He molds us and creates us.
He alone can do all things. Through Him, alone, we can do anything.
He is my Savior, my rock, my fortress.

So whatever comes tomorrow. Whatever the waves of this world decide to bring ashore. Whatever comes...

I will know...

The one I believe in, The one I give my life, The one, Jesus, He will see my through.
For I am in His hands, and they are mighty indeed.

Lord,
I will rest in peace tonight. No matter what is to come, no matter what is brought before me, I will find peace in You tonight.
The path I follow, is the path You have set before me. Whether it bring poverty, riches, trials, triumph, heard ache, laughter, loss, or gain. Whatever You bring me, I will find peace.
"For there will be days when life brings me pain. If that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain."
Amen

May we never forget the hands that hold us. The same hands that have been pierced by nails.
May we never forget, that even when life brings pain, and overwhelming odds, we are not alone.
Nothing in this life could ever take us away from our Father, or diminish His love for us.
He will never abandon us.
Tonight I will give it all to Him. My life is on the alter.
I give it all to Jesus. All of it.

The other side

Well it is an odd feeling indeed. I am here on the other side. Texas.
Not to long ago I wrote from my living room floor in Florida in anticipation of
our journey here. And now, I sit on my living room floor again. With my
belongings in our POD out front, and a few scattered boxes on the floor,
I find myself struggling tonight.

It is as if a fog has settled in my life. A horrible and very dense fog.
I feel lost and just a little worn. Lately it seems life has been an uphill
battle and it has taken its toll.

Adam lost his job.

Today as we attempt to settle into our new home, we watched in awe as a huge
tree in our front yard was trimmed. This tree was taller than our two story
home and half as wide.
I had never seen someone trim a tree like this and it was amazing. Two men
climbed to the very top of this tree (an activity that would sent me into an
anxiety attack!) and cut down all the branches they could reach with their
chain saws. At first, when I saw the huge branches crashing down, I though
it was crazy to cut down all that healthy growth. It was sad actually.
However, eight hours later, the end result is beautiful. It does not even
look like the same tree.

I suppose we are like the tree. All the "growth" I though I needed and all
the extra foliage, just takes away from us. It may be hard to get trimmed and
it may be painful but afterwards? Beauty. True beauty the way God intended.

I know this is a lot of rambling but I promise it does have a point.

The fog I was referring to is wearing on me. The last two weeks I have desired
nothing but a home. I wanted a great home and all my things to fill it.
I wanted to buy all new decor, I wanted an endless list of things but none of
which were the Lord. I have been so overwhelmed to acquire all new belongings.
All new "foliage". It was my only mission.

Seek ye first the Kingdom! Does that ring a bell? Well, it is not what I sought.

I feel so pulled in so many directions. I forgot God in all the madness instead
of letting Him be in charge, I pushed Him to the back. And now...

Well....

I am having a hard time cutting the ties. Breaking free from all this world has
to offer. I wish I could have someone come and trim me. Or maybe that is what is
happening.

So we are starting our life in Texas as two unemployed people. Great.

Well Lord, I am putting you first. You have provided thus far.

At least we have a home and that is a wonderful start. I know Adam will find
another job. In the mean time, pray. I know I will.

And if you do not pray for me. Pray for you. Pray that the Lord works in
whatever area in your life that needs some pruning. Because, I know that the
end result will be far more beautiful than you could ever imagine!

full circle

As I sit here on the eve of our drive to Texas, with no furniture and a mess of boxes, I feel so unlike myself. This whole event has pushed me to my limits physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I already shared with you how I do not like change.....

One year ago exactly, life was completely different. We were building our dream home, basking in the newness of my pregnancy with EJ, had two vehicles and two jobs.

Oh how things have changed.

You see I try not to be of this world. To not let materials define me. To not depend on them. But I live in this world and I find myself all to often identifying with my possessions. This is something I strive to work on daily and cutting those ties has been a hard, hard task for me.
Since last year, we had to let go of our home,

my vehicle, and we lost two incomes.
I also gained though. We brought our sweet, sweet baby into the world. A feat we struggled with for two years. My miracle. (I think I got the better end of the deal if you ask me.)
But things are hard right now. The economy was very, very cruel to us.
But I look around right now, while I sit on the floor with nothing, and I realize all I have to offer now is myself. I have nothing to show for the life I built in Florida. I am, finally, just me.
The only thing I have to offer is myself and I think that God is just fine with that.
He was never impressed by my belongings or my wealth. All He wanted was....me.
So I think, after all is said and done, that I have finally come full circle to the place the Lord had desired for me all along. I am right where He wants me. Even though none of this is easy, I rest in the fact that the Lord has had this planned all along. I may not know what the future holds, but He does, and He will be the one holding my hand through it all.
So here we go. We are starting our new life stripped clean with only our hearts to share. But, I couldn't be happier.

A new hope, a new home.

Well friends,

Has the Lord ever moved you, possibly out of your comfort zone, in order to mold you? To further shape you? Have you taken that step of faith into the darkness, and had the arms of the Lord embrace you? Has He ever wispered to you that change is coming? And that this change is to bring Him glory. Have you ever been moved by the Lord?

Well I have.

What a lot of you don't know is that I fear change with an intensity that I can not describe fully. I cling to the comfort of my life. My sanity admist the chaos. My day to day that brings me joy. The simplicity of a routine. From groceries to slobbery smiles. I love the ebb and flow of this life.

However it is not to be. God is urging us to make a move. And the time has finally come to make that step of faith. We are moving to Texas. And when I tell you we are walking into darkness, please believe me. No job, no home, nothing set in stone.

So I take a breathe and close my eyes. I pray for my Lord and Savior to carry me because I am crumbling inside. I pray that in place of fear he provides strength and in place of anxiety he gives peace.

As I cling to Him I pray he stays near. Ever so near.
My heart is racing and tears come in waves. Change does not come easy to me.

Adam leaves tomorrow morning for Dallas. He will then be interviewing for several jobs. Then he will head to Houston. Wherever he gets a job, he will then find us a place to call home. Then he will come back, pack us up, and we will head there together. Leaving this chapter of our lives behind. Both children were born here, jobs were here, family (Austins grandparents), and friends are here.

I will miss living next door to my inlaws so very much. What a security and a blessing they have been. What joy I have, in having them in my life.
Luckily, my MIL will be staying with me at night and the rest of the family will only be about five steps away.

I will miss Adam so very much as we have never been apart for so long before. I am such a natural worry wart. Oh Lord be near. I know the Lord will be my strength in the weeks to come.

So, please keep us in your prayers as the Lords plan for us unfolds. Pray for Adam. For a job and a new home to come quickly. Without income and savings, we are working on limited time. Pray for strength, wisdom, and peace.

Oh friends, pray.

So I step out. Looking forward to the beautiful anitciptation of God's plan. Of being further shaped by our creator. What will lay ahead of us, only our Father knows. What I know is that he has never abandoned us or left us. And He never will. So although this move is into the unknown, I know my God is right beside me. Waiting to catch us, to pick us up, to hold on. We are in His hands, and what mighty hands they are.

This move is sudden but not unexpected. There have been some things happening with my family in Texas that I can't speak about but ask you to pray anyway.

I will not have a computer while Adam is away, so the next time you hear from me, we will be moving. Pray that moment comes soon.

Thank you all for walking with us and I pray you continue even though we will be farther away.

I also pray that if the Lord whispers to you, that you will hear. For what glorious things our Lord can do! I shall praise Him even in the storm!

Well, here we go.
God Bless.