Reckless Abandon.
-the trait of lacking restraint or control; freedom from inhibition or worry

One day when I look back on my life, on my faith, and what I did, I want to say I lived with reckless abandon. I want to be able to say that I gave everything. I had passion and love and I lived. I want to look back and say that (although I could never repay Jesus for the ultimate sacrifice) I worked hard to share my faith, that I served. I want to be all the good that the Lord sees in me. I want to work at doing His will. I want to walk the walk...

There was a prayer that I had read in my WOW bible as a young teen. It read, "Be still my soul and know that He is God, and He will not let go for He loves me so."
I will no longer be praying this prayer.

I no longer want to be still.

Now I pray that my soul may be moved. That I may be moved. I no longer want to be complacent.

I often think about the rapture and wonder if it happened tomorrow, would I be ready? Would I have accomplished everything that I want too. Well, the answer is...no. Not by a long shot.
With international missions out of reach for us right now, I have recently found a way to do wonderful mission work right here in my town. Sometimes it is not the big things. Sometimes the smallest things cause the largest ripples.
So I am excited to start serving those around me and the Lord.
So I know a lot of you are not able to give a lot of money to charities, go on mission trips, and radically change your lifestyle. However, I want you to know that the Lord is in the little things as well. There is so much we can be doing right here. The need is huge for local volunteers!

Lord lead me, guide me, move me. I no longer want to be still.
Lord I pray that I may die to myself so that I may live for You. That I may live with reckless abandon. Amen.

For my Ej update, today was another bad day. I know we have bad days and good days, so I am hoping tomorrow he makes up for it. He ate no baby food and barely nursed today. He is refusing all formula at this point. I called in to the Dr. and let them know what has been going on. I am waiting to hear back on whether they want to continue this way until the 21st, or go ahead and change to a different plan. I will let you all know!
Oh and speaking of you all....
I want to thank you sincerely for all the kind and uplifting comments, emails, and prayers. You have no idea how amazing you are. I am just so thankful.
Also, I am about 60% today already and I have never recovered this quickly from mastitis. I think I can attribute that to a little thing called prayer. :)
Thank you all so much. You truly are friends in Christ!

so thankful

Today I am thankful for snow, even though it is now melting.
I am thankful for all my friends, blog friends, and family for lifting us up during this time.
I am thankful for the fact that I was able to mix a little formula into Ej's baby food this morning and therefore boosted his caloric intake even if it was "just a little bit".
I am thankful for the generosity, kindness, and prayers that everyone has given. Even people who didn't know me prior to this!

But I am most thankful for a Lord who's strength is perfect when mine fails.
Oh how I am ever grateful. For when we fall, he does indeed pick us up and continue forward. When we can no longer fight, he battles for us. When I am nothing, He is everything. The God of the universe has us tightly in His grip. He will never let go.

So today, I am thankful. So thank you everyone who has lifted us up. Thank you so much. We have felt your prayers and I am so grateful.

Gratitude...........

Sweet Jesus..........I will never forget the sacrifice..............

Today I watched a small clip from passion of the Christ and I plan on watching the rest tonight. Let me tell you how incredibly moving that was. I started crying and Austin came to see what was the matter. I let him watch about two seconds worth of Him carrying the cross. It is so profound. Austin and I sat there for a moment just talking about Jesus and how much we love Him. It was an amazing moment that I was so thankful to share with my son.
My sweet Jesus.....all that He went through for me and for you. The torture, the pain, the death. It was real and he willingly did it for us. I can close my eyes and see the crown of thorns. I can touch the nails. I can see the cuts and bruises all over. I can see his eyes. His eyes looking to heaven. Oh my sweet Jesus may I never forget. May I never take it for granted. For all that you did....Thank you, as if a thank you is enough. Lord help me to live my life more to bring You glory. Help me to be a more humble servant. Thank you my Savior......There are no other words...just Gratitude....