sinking

Matthew 14: 25-32
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”  “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Last night I was really needing some biblical encouragement and this story was on my heart. Right now we are in moving chaos. Chaos meaning I have to move this Sunday (I have delayed it twice now) and we don't have a place to move into yet. Our realtor is in overdrive and I am so thankful for all her hard work. However, we are moving Sunday and HAVE NO HOUSE YET. Crazy right? We currently have an application on a house and it is looking promising but they could still come back and say no. We should hear something by tomorrow. I guess it is a good thing I am good with crazy. This last year of being a single mom to three, having that third baby, mending a marriage (praise God), full time school, starting my own business, and oh yeah, life, I have found my way in the middle of crazyville more than once. Practice make perfect I suppose. However, I really want this to go well. I really want a little bit of settling now, a little bit of calm. I really want this house. I tell myself I will be fine without it, and I will be. But I really want it :)

Can I also say that trying to pack and organize a last minute move while having double mastitis and thrush is so much fun. Like I said, crazy!

So anyway, back to that scripture. When Peter starting sinking he immediately called out for Jesus to save him. No hesitation, no trying to swim or flapping around helpless. He cried out immediately. And what did Jesus do? Scripture said he immediately reached out and grabbed him and saved him.  Immediate. No talking Peter through it, no instruction, no judgement. He saved him immediately. Then, once safely on the ship, He asked Peter why he had doubted. The rescue came first.

I want a relationship like that. For me to run to Him and immediately cry out to Him when I am sinking. For me to know He will be there. No hesitation. And for Jesus, to then immediately grab me. Scripture say if we call to Jesus, we will be saved. I am so so grateful for a Jesus who saves.

So in all this, I will not break down like a person who is sinking in water and doesn't know how to swim. Instead of flailing around, I will also call out to Him for peace, strength, wisdom, and above all, Him timing in this. And you know what happens next? Yep, me too :)

possibilities

Well here we are at the end of summer. For us, school starts Monday. I have been talking so much about homeschooling and I can't believe the time has actually come. It is time to put on my teacher hat and dive in.
This past week has brought a whirl wind of emotion and I am still processing it all.
For starters
1. I quit my work from home job which was bittersweet and complex for me. I am adjusting though and anxious to follow Gods calling for me right now. God has been speaking to me for a while now about being still, being submissive to His divine will, and being hopeful in our new path. Finally, after much debate, I am ready for this next step. (I have no idea why I even bother to debate with God, but I do it all the time. Maybe if I learned to acknowledge that He knows know me best and our situation best, and the wants what is best for me, I would be so much better off and less stressed out. So much of being a Christian is not seeing ourselves as Christ-like (because we are not) but seeing ourselves for what we are-needing Christ. I know I am nothing without Him.)

2. We found out Adam got a promotion! This is huge for our family in so many ways. I am so proud of him and how hard he has worked since we moved to Texas. It isn't easy starting over in life and he has done it with grace and strength. I love that man!

3. Also we found out our pastor is leaving the end of this month and we are heartbroken. Although the church was not built on our pastors shoulders (it was built on Jesus), I am so sad to see him leave. He inspired, encouraged, and taught that you have NEVER locked eyes with someone with whom Jesus wasn't madly in love with. Our church is a church that DOES, that SERVES, and LOVES, and I hope and pray that foundation will remain.

Yes I just did bullet points. Call me crazy but life is hectic and sometimes my type-A self can only process things with numbers or bullets in front. :)

So here is to change, new starts, new beginnings, and new possibilities. I'm so excited!


Not the best picture, but what a beautiful rainbow. God is so good all the time, but especially during storms.


My little rainbow watcher. Adam and Austin were out on an adventure and EJ and I played outside.

I love his eyes!

goodbye kiss

Hello spring, I love you. I am ready for your glorious warmth and stunning bright colors. Your sunshine and flower scented wind. I am ready.
But not before one last goodbye kiss from winter.



My sister, Kat




I have no idea...



My hubby loves to take random pictures of me




our..snow man?




Daddy snuggles






It is all fun and games until you get your head rubbed in the snow


Or get a snow ball to land right on the camera...








But we had a blast and now I look forward to spring!

whistle while you work

I have so much left to do. Seriously, I need a couple extra hours in every day! It doesn't help that EJ won't let me put him down. We are attached at the hip all day long. Between his three new teeth coming in and his current cold/upper respiratory bug, he wants to be held non stop. I love snuggling that boy but man is it hard to do the dishes one handed!! He currently naps about 30 minutes a day, and usually it is while I am nursing him to get him down. Then I try to slip away and POP, he is awake! What a stinker!

Easton has been changing sooo much the past couple weeks. He is starting to stand more and more all by himself and can almost push himself into the standing position with out pulling up on anything. Crawling is second nature now and cruising is easy. I think it wont be long till he takes his first steps! I just can not believe it!
What has really changed though is his personality. He is no longer a baby. Not in any sense. He is a toddler and I don't know how it happened! He is talking more and communicating what he wants (and what he doesn't want). He is VERY vocal and very loud. This is new to me because Austin was and is a very quiet and very calm child. Easton is the opposite. Loud and proud. He is demanding, loving, short tempered, snuggling, hitting, kissing, screaming, whispering, angry and super sweet. He is a complex little man to say the least. The temper tantrums he is already starting to throw are...well...perplexing. I so thought this behavior wasn't suppose to appear until 2 lol!
He is still really attached though. The independence hasn't really emerged yet. I have to be in eyesight and usually he has to be held or be able to touch me at all times.
He still nurses great and we are co sleeping with no end in sight. He is a joy every minute of every day and I am so thankful to have this beautiful boy.
His new thing this week is that he can point to your eyes, nose, and mouth on demand. He can even say "eyes" and point to them! He is so smart! He has started coloring also and will take a crayon and color on paper. His eyes light up and he gets the biggest smile when he starts to color. He is amazed by that!
To think where we were. Facing a stroke and brain damage, to hitting and exceeding milestones. God is so good!
He is also eating like a champ. He demands his meals promptly and usually eats three servings. He is such a hungry babe. His next appointment is February 11th and I can only imagine he has gained some serious weight.
He is sick right now with a nasty bug (we all have it) and I am praying it doesn't turn into more. No fevers! I don't not want him in the hospital next week. I actually want to make it longer than 5 weeks without having to be hospitalized. Especially since his birthday is next week! Here is to a healthy and amazing birthday! One year...one whole year. Amazing.
I can not wait till his party on thursday. I am so excited! I wish you all could come :)

Austin is the best big brother ever. He has really taken his role seriously. He is my wild, calm, loud, quiet, playful, shy, genius, inquisitive, talking, sweet, beautiful boy. He is so smart it is astonishing. He flies through his school work books with little instruction. He is fiercely independent and can do most everything by himself. He loves making me food and I love eating it lol! His imagination is so inspiring. He loves taking care of Easton and often pours him a drink or gets him a snack. He recently has been playing with him more and more. He loves him so very much.
We have decided homeschooling is the avenue for us and I have been looking into a curriculum for him. I am so excited to share in his education. I was an elementary education major in college and since I will never teach in the classroom, I am excited to help Austin learn. He truly is a joy to teach.
He is staring to read some words now and his handwriting is getting better. When we do math he cracks me up. He says "Two plus one is three, Two plus one MINUS, is one." He adds the minus to the end. I love the way his mind works and I can see him learning and growing before my eyes. Getting him to sit down for school work is interesting though so I have to be pretty creative there.
So anyone with advice on homeschooling curriculums would be great! What have you done, what do you like? Recommendations?

Our new home is slowly coming a long. I still have all the decor I need to put up and lots of pictures. I also still need to unpack all the clothes. All in all though we are making progress!
See for yourself...
day one

day three

I like unpacking. It is so soothing and methodical. I love putting things in their new home. In that perfect spot.

And last but not least pictures of my cuties!
my blue eyed red headed baby

my sweet big boy (who was freezing in this pic! It was snowing on move in day!)

wanting to join in on our school lessons!

Thanks so much everyone for your well wishes on our move!!
I can't wait to share EJ's birthday with you all!!I just love birthdays! It only helps that my birthday is next week as well and then valentines day! What an awesome week! What are all your plans for V day??

we are home

Well, we are moved in. Still some unpacking left, but for the most part we are comfy and cozy. And I mean cozy.
Our new home is about 1/3 of the size of the one we just left and a lot of stuff had to go to storage. But, it is just stuff and I don't really mind its absence at all.

Both boys now have mild colds most likely from the sub freezing temps and snow we got to experience first hand on moving day and the following two days with no heat. Did you know if you turn your oven on and keep the door open it can warm up a little room?

So now, we have heat, hot water, and two amazing little runny noses smiling faces. Things feel right here. I can't explain it really. It feels like home in a way the other home never did. It has such a better flow. I don't know how long we will be here but I know everything will be alright.

No one ever expects or hopes to lose so much and to be financially devastated. This is something I never imagined would happen to us. But, I wouldn't change it. In the end we still have a life that is so abundant, so beautiful. I am so blessed. And time will offer opportunities to rebuild. God has already started. He is so good at rebuilding.

So no matter what lay ahead I have hope. I have no fear. For I have weathered a lot and been carried even more. So my friends, we are home. And I couldn't be happier.

(some certain little someone is having a birthday bash coming up!! I can't wait!!)

Joy!

There has been a lot of change here lately. Financially, physically, spititually, emotionally.
Change seems to be the definition of our life recently.
However, the most amazing change has happened once I finally gave everything over to the Lord. All my stress, all my anger, all my anxiety, all my sadness. All of it. I gave him full comand over all areas of my life and something incredible happened. JOY!
I have felt God's peace in my life and I have felt His love, but it wasn't until I gave Him everything, that I now have joy. I have never felt anything like this before.

No matter what happens, no matter what chaos is thrown at us, or what twist and turns are still to come, I have NO worry. I am compleyely at peace and very very happy. I have everything I need and want.

The Lord is so faithful.

So with my new found joy, it is as if I see life through different eyes. Everything is alive and beautiful. There is so much to be thankful for.

So now instead of focusing on all the negative (everyone has this in their life to some degree), I can now look at all the good (and there is a lot!). It is fabulous!

So yes, we are still going through a massive overhaul and transition, but life is good and God is good.

I just wanted to let you all know, so if you notice a different "tone" in my upcoming posts, that is why. Joy my friends, beautiful wonderful joy!! Praise the Lord!

A new hope, a new home.

Well friends,

Has the Lord ever moved you, possibly out of your comfort zone, in order to mold you? To further shape you? Have you taken that step of faith into the darkness, and had the arms of the Lord embrace you? Has He ever wispered to you that change is coming? And that this change is to bring Him glory. Have you ever been moved by the Lord?

Well I have.

What a lot of you don't know is that I fear change with an intensity that I can not describe fully. I cling to the comfort of my life. My sanity admist the chaos. My day to day that brings me joy. The simplicity of a routine. From groceries to slobbery smiles. I love the ebb and flow of this life.

However it is not to be. God is urging us to make a move. And the time has finally come to make that step of faith. We are moving to Texas. And when I tell you we are walking into darkness, please believe me. No job, no home, nothing set in stone.

So I take a breathe and close my eyes. I pray for my Lord and Savior to carry me because I am crumbling inside. I pray that in place of fear he provides strength and in place of anxiety he gives peace.

As I cling to Him I pray he stays near. Ever so near.
My heart is racing and tears come in waves. Change does not come easy to me.

Adam leaves tomorrow morning for Dallas. He will then be interviewing for several jobs. Then he will head to Houston. Wherever he gets a job, he will then find us a place to call home. Then he will come back, pack us up, and we will head there together. Leaving this chapter of our lives behind. Both children were born here, jobs were here, family (Austins grandparents), and friends are here.

I will miss living next door to my inlaws so very much. What a security and a blessing they have been. What joy I have, in having them in my life.
Luckily, my MIL will be staying with me at night and the rest of the family will only be about five steps away.

I will miss Adam so very much as we have never been apart for so long before. I am such a natural worry wart. Oh Lord be near. I know the Lord will be my strength in the weeks to come.

So, please keep us in your prayers as the Lords plan for us unfolds. Pray for Adam. For a job and a new home to come quickly. Without income and savings, we are working on limited time. Pray for strength, wisdom, and peace.

Oh friends, pray.

So I step out. Looking forward to the beautiful anitciptation of God's plan. Of being further shaped by our creator. What will lay ahead of us, only our Father knows. What I know is that he has never abandoned us or left us. And He never will. So although this move is into the unknown, I know my God is right beside me. Waiting to catch us, to pick us up, to hold on. We are in His hands, and what mighty hands they are.

This move is sudden but not unexpected. There have been some things happening with my family in Texas that I can't speak about but ask you to pray anyway.

I will not have a computer while Adam is away, so the next time you hear from me, we will be moving. Pray that moment comes soon.

Thank you all for walking with us and I pray you continue even though we will be farther away.

I also pray that if the Lord whispers to you, that you will hear. For what glorious things our Lord can do! I shall praise Him even in the storm!

Well, here we go.
God Bless.