brotherly love

And the smallest brother at 34 weeks! Only 4 more weeks until there are THREE brothers. Then my heart just may explode....

summer sun

We spent a wonderful day today playing in my aunt's back yard. I am so truly blessed to have my family near by and for them to be so supportive and caring. We had a great playdate and can't wait to go back!
On the drive to her house, EJ was repeating "biscuit!" from the back seat. That is their beagle and he loves her. He will take any opportunity to go see Biscuit!
So with a healthy dose of sun, water, and their favorite pupp, I think it was a perfect day.
















I know I say it a lot, but I can not imagine my life without these two. I love them so much that I could burst.

there are these arms....

All weekend I have been so stressed out and just overwhelmed with anxiety. I looked up my class syllabus online Saturday, and immediately started crying. Dramatic? Maybe. But everything just hit me a bit harder. I let it get to me, that is something I am very prone to do. Anxiety and I are long term BFF's apparently. 

It is so easy to lose sight of what is important and to let the things of each day wear us down. To get caught up in all the responsibilities and all the mundane. Sometimes when you are in the mess of it, all you see is the mess instead of the goal. These days I have felt knee deep. All I have been asking myself this weekend, is how in the world can I do this? It is not possible!! I am already spread so thin that I can't possibly take this on. Maybe you know that feeling too?

I am now 8 months pregnant with another sweet baby boy. I am getting bigger and things are getting much much harder. I am having bouts of contractions every day and my sciatic is really bad. It is a constant reminder of the blessing that I am carrying around inside right now. A blessing that will no doubt rock our world next month. My class work load this summer is heavy and there is a reason it is called "full time". Whoa.

I have been barely floating by these days, and now these changes are finally here. No more putting it off. (Did I also mention that I am also BFFs with procrastination, or maybe denial. Probably both! Fantastic :) 

So today, (the first day of class), I was fully expecting to wake up in a panic and was dreading it. But I didn't. There is peace here today. Patience and love. I wasn't expecting it and I don't know why I haven't learned yet. I know these arms. I know their reach. Why do I doubt? 

There are different seasons in our life that push and challenge us. Those are the seasons where we grow the most. I know this season won't be an easy one, but I will embrace it and I will trust. We will make it through this and will come out better for it. But worry and doubt and anxiety? They only take away from the miracle, from the joy. They steal gratitude and I will no longer allow that. 

And there is a lot to be said about being busy! Idle hands are never a good thing after all. Plus, my type A personality is taking over. I already have my list and am ready to go. But maybe that is not the point I am trying to make! That's for another post.

Anyway, I wanted to say that whatever you are facing, and maybe even dreading, you can do it because you are not alone. There are these hands and they have a way of carrying things, including you, especially you.

This is a song that I LOVE that I wanted to share. God truly is in all seasons of life. So thankful for an ever present God.

bees, my belly, and the cutest little boys ever

We ended up having a really great Memorial day! We grilled at Adam's place and had steaks, corn, and potato salad. We also had chips with guacamole (my favorite!), queso, veggie tray, fruit with fruit dip, and strawberry short cake for dessert! I really love food these days as you will get to see in my belly picture! :)

Yesterday the boys and I decided to go out and play on the trail with side walk chalk. It was blistering hot but we had fun. After we came in, a bee that had hitched a ride in my shirt, stung me. I just had been stung a couple weeks ago and had a severe reaction so this time I drove straight to the Dr. By the time I got there I couldn't even breathe, but after a shot of epi and some meds, I was good as new. Now I have to carry around an epi pen and pray the bees stay away from me! But the trip was worth it since I got some cute photos of my boys!

I try to take them somewhere  everyday as we tend to get cabin fever. It is getting more and more difficult though as the weather heats up and as I get bigger. My sciatic and round ligament pain is pretty bad these days. I only have eight more weeks though! Yikes! My summer classes start on monday and I am trying to get everything finished before then. Matthew's clothes, bedding, and diapers are all washed and ready. I think I am just about finished with Matthew prep! Just have to knock off a couple more things on my to do list.

Oh and I have to share!!!!! Ej is fully weaned! It has been 2 weeks now and he is doing so great. He doesn't even ask anymore and since he has weaned he has been sleeping through the night for the first time ever. It only took 28 months! Now if only I could sleep through the night, Ha!

Also ECI came yesterday and EJ was evaluated to see if he needs therapy. He is about a year behind emotionally and in speech. Cognitive and physical development is only a few months behind. Basically, they think all the delay is due to his medical issues and the year he was very sick. No long term cause and no autism diagnosis. Basically, none of the news was surprising to me. I knew he was a little behind in speech and in emotional development. However I am relieved to hear that they believe he will completely catch up in 6 months-to a year! He starts therapy next week and will have it every other week. With everything that could have been, I praise God for what is!

This is turning out to be a longer post that I anticipated, so I will just share my big ole 30 week belly and leave you with that scary image! Have a wonderful rest of the week!!