Monday, August 22, 2011

fresh

Clean clothes laid out the night before, a home made lunch packed away for later, a sleepy little one with crazy bed head, another sleepy little one who is very cranky, and yet another little one who is very hungry. Warm cinnamon raisin bread for breakfast eaten in a hurry, one mama who really really would love a shower (but wont get one today), one car full of car seats and little ones, and one fresh new beginning for us all!

Today was Austin's first day of first grade! It was also his first day of public school. It was also NOT the first day I have cried over my beautiful boys. I am a wreck today. I miss my big 6 year old like crazy and can not believe he will be gone for 7 hours every day. I am not a fan people....

I worry about him getting lost in the hallway walking to class. I seriously have visions of him lost and crying. I have mentioned that anxiety and I am BFFs right? Yes? Okay then.
They let you walk them in to the class the first day but that is it. I have to drop him off outside of the school from now on and he has to find his way.....without me. Without me. He is embarking on this whole new journey of life without me. Okay I need more Kleenex....brb.....
Seriously all. This.is.so.hard.for.me.
I just want to scoop him up and keep him with me forever. Adam calls me a helicopter mom. I guess I am. I am just crazy in love with my boys and want to protect them and just enjoy life with them always.
I know it will get easier but today it is not. My baby is growing up and he is not a baby anymore. He is a big 6 year old boy. Still feels like yesterday though that I learned I was pregnant with him. That I saw him on the ultrasound screen, that he was born all fuzzy and new and I got to hold him and take in the smell of him. I just know that was yesterday.
Whew okay....
Here are some pictures of my big boy on his first day...


You see is the second pic how EJ is off to the side crying? Yeah he was the cranky one! He was screaming hysterically the whole way to the classroom to drop Austin off. It was one of those really humbling mommy moments. He was tired, sad as he didn't want Austin to go, and scared that he was getting dropped off. Not the first day I had envisioned but that is life with many littles :) After drop off there was a flag ceremony where all the students came out and we watched them raise the flag and sing and say the pledge. Austin couldn't see me as there was a huge crowd but I could see him! He stayed right by the teacher lol. That is my boy. He was so brave this morning and gave me a kiss and went right in to class. Melts my heart. I know he will do great. I have no doubt about that. And we will all adjust to the new schedule too. Although WHOA Matthew was up every 30 minutes last night (his reflux is so bad thank goodness we are starting zantac today!). Mommy is tired!
So after sleeping in every day over the summer, it will be be good to get on a routine. At least I hope :)
It is a fresh new start for us all. Up next? Fall. Oh yes please!
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