Sunday, February 28, 2010

church, park, prayer

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I am so tired today, but not physically so much as spiritually. My soul longs for a refuge away from the chaos.
We had a great time at church yesterday, spent the afternoon making burgers and then walking at the park. Since then I have been submerged in prayer.
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Some things are changing over here and I am praying that the Lord continues to mold me and that I be changed into what He desires. To be transparent to such an extent that when you look at me, you see Him....
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I'm working on being a better mother, a better wife, a better friend. I'm working on being a better believer and a better servant of the King.
There is much to work on over here and I am thankful for being shown what needs work...
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Austin is ALL boy! Hunting, fishing, sword swinging, star wars loving, fast moving, lovable BOY!
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Man alive I love this boy!
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Easton is so lucky to have him as a big brother!
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Easton is my vivacious, hungry, energetic snuggler. Still dependent on me but I catch little glimpses of the day where his dependence will shrink. It is on the horizon. I savor every moment of him being my baby. It just goes by so quickly.
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I love his smile, it melts my heart.
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He now has six teeth. Crawls like a maniac and loves to play. Especially with Austin!

These days are but a mist. I will savor each one and thank God for every blessing.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

deep conditioning

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Alright ladies (hey even men!), we all know it. That feeling.
You just spent hours in the swivel chair at the salon getting your hair done. Maybe some color, a cut, and at last that fabulous deep conditioner. Nothing beats it and I can't seem to buy it.
My hair never feels better than the day I leave the salon. Soft shiny and silky. Plus with just the right amount of body. Perfection.
Deep conditioning is amazing. Repairs damage and strengthens your hair. Protects it from the elements. Oh how I love it.

We get a bounce to our step and that great smile. Everyone can notice the change.

Well, the same rings true for the armor of God.

How do you go about your day? How do you repair yourself and prepare for all that the world will throw at you? Maybe you don't? Maybe you face the day with out great conditioner and you are weak, worn, weary and just out of that bounce. Maybe you have no protection and everything has been taking it's toll on you.

It can be better! You can get that shine, that pep back in your step. That smile that everyone can notice. We don't have to face everything alone...

"Finally, my brethren be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having gird your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints--" Ephesians 6:10-18

God longs for us to reach out and put on the armor. He wants to help us everyday. He wants to provide strength, truth, and peace to us all. He really wants to be your deep conditioner.
He will repair whats broken and protect. But you know what?? You have to apply it. You have to use it. You have to ask for it. And the best part?? It is free!

So before you start your day, I encourage you to take a minute. Suit up. Get ready. And prepare to have the best hair day...ever!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

your questions, my answers!

Alright! Thank you so much for your great questions!

We had a great weekend. Probably the best we have had in a long time! Warmer weather and lots of time outdoors. You don't realize how you have been cooped up till you get some freedom. Nothing like running errands to make you feel more alive! (sarcasm but true at the same time. What does that say about me?) I guess it says I need to get out more! Ha!

Okay moving along!

Are you going to have anymore children?
If only there was a simple answer to this! I hope so, but there are a lot of factors with our infertility, miscarriages, and the fact that I have been led to adopt. So I will say it is in the Lord's hands but I feel like our family isn't quite complete yet.

What is your favorite book besides the Bible?
Hmmm...Crazy love and Breaking Free. I just won a copy of "The me I want to be", and I am super excited to read it!

Do you miss Florida at all? Don't you have family there?
Although I thought I would never miss Florida, I do miss it a tiny bit. I miss the beach and the water (we lived on the water) and I miss Disney (we had passes). These things are easily satisfied though by vacationing there so I doubt we would ever move back. We LOVE Texas!
Yes we do have family there and that is why we first moved there in 04. My inlaws live there! We miss them very much!

If you could go anywhere for vacation, where would it be?
Hard one! Italy, Hawaii, and Australia. Then maybe St Lucia :)

Where did you and your husband meet?
In college! We wen't to SFA!

Homeschooling, why?
Well, there are multiple reasons.
Keeping him home will prevent him from bringing a lot of germs home to EJ. With an immune compromised little one we really need to be conscious of what comes into our home.
Austin is not ready for K yet. Mentally he is amazing, but socially there are some things we are working on. He has been begging for 6 months that I would consider homeschooling him.
We really want to put out children in private school for religious reasons. (I am not against public school this is just what is best for us) Since we can't afford private school yet this is the option we have chosen.

I know there are a lot of people who are against homeschooling. The resistance I have meant is huge, even in our own family. But although we disagree, please support that this is best for us and our family. I would only do what is best for them....

When did you come to Christ and how?
Good question!
I will try to give you a short version!
When I was 7, alone in my room, I held a bible study with my stuffed animals and asked Jesus into my heart. I loved Him from the start I guess you could say. Then my father committed suicide when I was 15, and my mother left us. To say my world was shaken is an understatement.
I turned my back on God, went to college, did a lot of things I really regret, (praise God for His mercy and forgiveness), and was determined to do this life thing on my own.
Had pain like I never knew could exist, and finally realized, that void that I had been trying to fill with everything BUT Him, could only be filled WITH Him. So I would say I rededicated my life to Him just two short years ago. I would say when we lost Max (right before I got pregnant with Easton), that is when I finally and completely gave myself to Him. Sweet surrender. I have never looked back and it is a love affair I could only have dreamed of. Thanks for asking :)

Y'all moved to TX for a job. Do y'all have any family near by or is it just the 4 of y'all?
Lots of family! I am from here (literally 10 minutes from where we are now) and my Grandmother, all Aunts and Uncles, cousins, and even my siblings, are here. I love it! I missed them so much!

Where does your husband work?
The job that brought us to Texas fell through early on. He now works for a large national bank and really enjoys it!

Would I like to work part time?
Well I do/did, kind of. I work off and on for a medical recruiter and am able to work from home when I do. Right now I am not working and wish I could. I also would love to be able to do more photography on Adam's off days. I would love be able to bring in income AND be a full time Mommy. I do not desire to work out of the home though. I LOVE being with my boys and prayed for this every day for years. There is no place I would rather be, BUT I would love to help financially more. I suppose we all desire that? I am slowly learning to be at peace with my role!

Alright and that ends the Q&A section! Now you know way more about me than you ever wanted too!

Thank you so much everyone for your great questions! Now I have a question for you? Do any of you use twitter?
Also IF I were to do a home sweet home edition of giveaways (as our virtual house warming party since we moved) would you be interested in participating? Let me know!

Oh and one more thing! If any of you happen to do a Q&A (poke poke) leave me a link!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

sneak peak/ Q&A

Alright so I am almost done decorating our quaint home. I am no professional though, and I usually just throw things and wherever they land, that's its home! HA! I am getting better though and once the kiddos are bigger I can't wait to go thrifting again! Anyone else LOVE to go thrifting??

So anyways enjoy some sneak peeks of my little abode...










Also I wanted to invite everyone to join in on a little Q&A. Nothing is off limits, and I will answer all questions in another post. You can leave them in the comments or email them! So if there is anything you ever wanted to know, or wonder about, now would be the time! Should be fun!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A friend for flea

So I thought Flea needed a friend, and EJ kept stealing her for himself, so I decided to made him a little buddy too.

Meet Eli! Easton's new baby. See the E on the ear. Man I am good. (HA HA Not really). I will say though that sewing without a pattern is pretty fun. Maybe I will move on to the pattern stuff a little later. I have lots more practice to do before then! :)

Hope everyone is having a great day!
Also if you have created anything lately, please share! I would love some inspiration!!

Oh and if anyone knows how to hand stitch, oh goodness, I need some pointers! The ears were sewn on by hand and they look like they ...well....they need some help!

Monday, February 15, 2010

A wise woman

Lately I have been struggling. I have been struggling with not feeling like I am a contributor to my family. Like I didn't quite understand my role in the midst of life's chaos.
At the end of the day there are no paychecks, no award of merit, no praise, no validation for my worth. No physical showing of all my hard work. I have been feeling defeated and overall worthless. I KNOW this isn't the case, but I felt it none the less.

I feel stuck. Immobilized by my current life. I feel like I am in a rut that I just can't shake.

The Lord has been calling me, whispering to me, filling my heart with all the possibilities of how I could serve. The homeless, the elderly, the young, the ill. YES LORD!! I answered. I want to tackle it all. I was so filled by all the promise, all the hope, all the excitement of what was on the horizon. I couldn't wait to dive into the trenches and serve.

Then life happened. It smacked me in the face and told me to be still.

The reality is, that I haven't once been with out a baby on my hip since having Easton. Literally.

I have to be very careful where he goes and who he is around due to him being immune compromised. This means no church nursery, no childcare. With Adam's crazy work schedule, we never know his hours ahead of time.
No bible study, no date night, no way for me to work out of the home if need be. Not that I want to work out of the home, I don't. I love being with my children and thank God that I am at home as I prayed for this for years. But, if it came down to it, I can't do more. I have to sit this fight out. I have to back up and be still.

It is pretty hard to walk in the trenches with two little ones under foot....

And so it began. Slowly at first, then more prevalent. The doubt, the feeling of not being enough. Not doing enough. What am I, who am I? What now Lord?

Then in a moment of surrender he led me to the sweetest verse that He has ever shown me. I love our God. I love how tender, how gentle He can be when I need it most.

He started to show me, to whisper once more, to fill my heart. He started to give me hope and a new way to serve. He showed me how I can indeed be His hands and feet. Once again I was excited, filled with promise. Filled with a new anticipation of His work.

He really is amazing...

"A wise woman builds her home" Proverbs 14:1

Simply. Amazing.

For so long I thought I needed to do so much, to show, to prove, to validate.
God knows my heart. God loves me even when I don't love myself.
He never fails me.

So now I know. I am happy and at peace. There will be a time for trench work, but right now, right here, I have two beautiful boys and a wonderful man who I can serve fully.
If I can't be God's servant here, how would I ever be successful out there?
So I am on a new mission. One of demonstrating God's love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, and peace to the people who matter most to me. To show them the way.

It made me realize how much work I really have here at home. How much healing is really needed. Thing's, people, I had neglected. Painful places, and hurtful things. There is so much right here.

Thank you God for showing me. Thank you for always knowing what we need....

And just for a great laugh at my expense (you're welcome), I will include picture evidence of one of my first new tasks.
Austin has been begging me to make him a pet deer ever since I got my sewing machine last month. Well, friends, I take my job seriously these days and lets just say it was made with love.
Meet Flea, the rabid greyhound deer.

He loves her, and she was definitely made with love.
So aside from needing some serious sewing lessons, I am loving my new role! Thank God for His mercy!

Friday, February 12, 2010

glorious

From the huge snow we were blessed with , to a wonderful day with my family, yesterday was glorious. EJ's party ended up being just us four as the roads were to dangerous for travelers to venture out. In was so nice though! One cake I made into cupcakes and "cookies" and the other was a traditional round cake. Needless to say we have more cake than we could ever want!

Easton had his doctors appt. yesterday and for the first time ever he had great numbers! He is no longer anemic and his albumin is normal. Even his ANC was up! I just cried and hugged the doctor. What a birthday present!
He does still have his cold and an ear infection, but the antibiotics should clear up his ear in no time. His two top teeth are almost through. I can not wait till they make their entrance! I am ready for a good nights sleep again!
EJ got some great new toys including a new walker. He has been pushing it around all over the place. I think he loves the new perspective! He makes me laugh so hard!

We have been enjoying the snow so much. This is the most snow we have ever gotten in Dallas, and it is the most I have ever seen in my life. We built the snowman and made snow angels. I simply adore the view from my windows. I know snow gets old, but I think it is so beautiful. Amazing how perfect the Artist is. From spring buds, summer blooms, fall leaves, and winter snow, His beauty is everywhere.

This birthday week could not get any better. I am blown away by my sweet family and I wouldn't change one thing!
This past Christmas Austin picked me out an ornamental cross and started my collection of crosses. Well yesterday he asked me if he could buy me another cross for my birthday today. I told him not this time (as we are saving all our money right now). This morning he was in his room for a while and came out and asked for tape. A little later he came out with a bag and told me to open it.
He had built me a beautiful cross out of legos, and even taped a clone soldier from his star wars collection to it to be Jesus. I cried so hard. The simple thought that all he wanted to do was give me a cross. He didn't have the money so he made one. I love that boy! Then Adam brought me home breakfast and starbucks. It has been just the most perfect day! Sometimes it really is the small stuff. Life doesn't always go the way we want, but there is still so much beauty and so much joy in the everyday things. How I am thankful for the small things!

Here are some pictures!!
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Birthday time!
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And last but not least my angel making an angel!

snow angel from E Nault on Vimeo.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

20 months

20 months ago I discovered this, you!
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Every possible emotion rushed through me. I was so very excited and more than a little nervous. This was the start of my eighth pregnancy after all. But, I was covered in a peace and a joy that the Lord had given me. I knew everything would be okay. I knew you would make it into my arms. If only I had known everything you would bring!
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5 weeks 5 days I believe. We were able to see your heart beat and you measured perfectly!
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Here we were at the Peri's office at about 22 weeks! You weighed a little more than one pound here! This is where we found out you were a boy!!
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Here we were at about 35 weeks. Look at your cheeks!!!
I was so excited, so thrilled. Overjoyed!
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Daddy cutting the cord!!
My labor was long (24 hours total) but easy and very enjoyable!! We played games and told stories while we waited for you! Then finally we were ready, and three pushes later, you were born!!
February 10, 2010 was the day you changed our lives!
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You had a rough start due to you being born with pneumonia. You were taken away mere hours after your birth to Children's hospital which was three hours away. I had to wait to be discharged the next morning. That night I was so scared we were going to loose you. I prayed for you and I started to learn all about real faith.
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Daddy got to hold you for the first time! Your big brother was so excited to meet you!
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He loves you so much! We couldn't wait to bring you home!
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You did come home! I couldn't have imagined the love you would bring into our home!
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Second month!
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In this month your jaundice was fading and your little personality was starting to emerge! You started sleeping better and were more awake! I love this face you made!
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Third month!
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You were getting over the most of your health issues by this point and life had fallen into a beautiful rhythm. You were really close to sleeping through the night and were such a sweet baby. A snuggler from the start, you spent most of your time in the sling.
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Your first Easter!

Fourth month!
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This month was filled with happiness!! We moved to Texas, you were rolling around, sleeping through the night in your own crib, babbling, and starting solids! You were such a joy!
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Fifth month!
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This month you were really coming into your own! Laughing and playing all the time! You started saying "night-night" and dada! Eating was going great and your favorite thing was applesauce! You loved your big brother and would just smile and smile!
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Sixth month!
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This month was so easy going! You were happy almost all of the time. Still in good health, we just enjoyed everything the day brought! Learning how to say mama made my heart almost explode!
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Seventh month!
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This is the month that we struggled for the first time with some illness. We struggled to get you to eat, but besides that you were still your sweet loving self. You had a passion for the outdoors and were sitting up all by yourself. You loved to play with your toys!
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Eighth month!
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You spent a lot of this month in the hospital! You remeber when I said while you were in the NICU, I was learning about faith? Well I needed it more than ever this month. There were times when I didn't think you would make it. You were so very sick. But I gave it to Jesus and I thank you, my sweet baby, for teaching me to trust...
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Ninth month!
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We came home and we were confronted by our new normal. Things had changed quite a bit and it was a period of adjustment. I was so very thankful for every day, no every moment with you. My baby...
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We spent more time at the hospital too...
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Tenth month!
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This month was a huge catch up month for you! You finally started pulling yourself up, pushing your self into a sitting position, talking again, and over all started to stabilize. Your army crawling is precious! Your eating picked up and you were gaining weight! I was so proud of you!!! We did spend a day in the hospital for an infection, but were very lucky you did so well!!!
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This picture makes me laugh! You are so excited!

Eleven months!
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Last month was amazing! Your full personality was bubbling to the surface and I was amazed! You were crawling with your tummy off the floor and cruising very well. You were becoming very vocal and have no issues yelling for attention!! You were still very attached to mommy and daddy but we didn't mind! Eating was no longer an issue and you would inhale three large meals a day plus nurse like a champion! You started sorting your toys and you loved to do puzzles and read!
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Twelve glorious months!!!!!!!
What can I say to truly do you justice? This year, this amazing year, has left me almost speechless. I love you more than you could ever imagine. You are still crawling like an olympian and your cruising is so confident. You will be walking soon I know it! You have three teeth on the bottom but two on top are poking through. You talk all the time, you love to color, you like to explore, play with Austin, you can point to your eyes and say "eyes" and you also know your nose and mouth. You laugh all the time, love kisses and snuggles, and you favorite thing is your silky blanket. You love all your toys especially your new mailbox and all your balls. You LOVE to play ball! You eat constantly. Seriously! You love anything! You hate being changed and being dressed. You always have! You want to go go go!! I still wear you in the sling and I love to rock you and to read to you. This morning when you woke up, I picked you up and kissed all over your cheeks, remember? What you didn't know is that I inhaled so deeply so that I could permanently lock away your smell. I love to nuzzle into you and just breathe. Everything in life becomes calmer and just...better. You make my life better. You are my light, my love. You are my beautiful blue eyed masterpiece. My angel. You have taught me so much. I have grown so much. You are so strong and so magnificent. I can't imagine life without you. I wish I could just hold you forever. How are you already ONE year old? How does that happen? Thank you for a year I will never forget. Thank you for choosing me to go on this journey with...
Love you so much- Mommy
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who is the birthday boy????
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I am!!
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Sorry for the quality of pics! I had some interesting issues uploading! I guess thats why the sizing is off! Also, yes, EJ does have a snotty nose. Poor baby has been sick with a cold for a solid week. These were his presents from his grandma!! Thank you so much Cheryl!!
I can't wait for his party tomorrow!!!!!! Happy Birthday EJ!!!!
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