Friday, June 26, 2009

full circle

As I sit here on the eve of our drive to Texas, with no furniture and a mess of boxes, I feel so unlike myself. This whole event has pushed me to my limits physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I already shared with you how I do not like change.....

One year ago exactly, life was completely different. We were building our dream home, basking in the newness of my pregnancy with EJ, had two vehicles and two jobs.

Oh how things have changed.

You see I try not to be of this world. To not let materials define me. To not depend on them. But I live in this world and I find myself all to often identifying with my possessions. This is something I strive to work on daily and cutting those ties has been a hard, hard task for me.
Since last year, we had to let go of our home,

my vehicle, and we lost two incomes.
I also gained though. We brought our sweet, sweet baby into the world. A feat we struggled with for two years. My miracle. (I think I got the better end of the deal if you ask me.)
But things are hard right now. The economy was very, very cruel to us.
But I look around right now, while I sit on the floor with nothing, and I realize all I have to offer now is myself. I have nothing to show for the life I built in Florida. I am, finally, just me.
The only thing I have to offer is myself and I think that God is just fine with that.
He was never impressed by my belongings or my wealth. All He wanted
So I think, after all is said and done, that I have finally come full circle to the place the Lord had desired for me all along. I am right where He wants me. Even though none of this is easy, I rest in the fact that the Lord has had this planned all along. I may not know what the future holds, but He does, and He will be the one holding my hand through it all.
So here we go. We are starting our new life stripped clean with only our hearts to share. But, I couldn't be happier.

1 comment:

Doodle - said...

What an amazing, wonderful place to be! Stuff is just that, stuff. What matters is something that no one can see, only what you and others can FEEL. That is what life is really about!

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