Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Reckless Abandon.
-the trait of lacking restraint or control; freedom from inhibition or worry

One day when I look back on my life, on my faith, and what I did, I want to say I lived with reckless abandon. I want to be able to say that I gave everything. I had passion and love and I lived. I want to look back and say that (although I could never repay Jesus for the ultimate sacrifice) I worked hard to share my faith, that I served. I want to be all the good that the Lord sees in me. I want to work at doing His will. I want to walk the walk...

There was a prayer that I had read in my WOW bible as a young teen. It read, "Be still my soul and know that He is God, and He will not let go for He loves me so."
I will no longer be praying this prayer.

I no longer want to be still.

Now I pray that my soul may be moved. That I may be moved. I no longer want to be complacent.

I often think about the rapture and wonder if it happened tomorrow, would I be ready? Would I have accomplished everything that I want too. Well, the answer is...no. Not by a long shot.
With international missions out of reach for us right now, I have recently found a way to do wonderful mission work right here in my town. Sometimes it is not the big things. Sometimes the smallest things cause the largest ripples.
So I am excited to start serving those around me and the Lord.
So I know a lot of you are not able to give a lot of money to charities, go on mission trips, and radically change your lifestyle. However, I want you to know that the Lord is in the little things as well. There is so much we can be doing right here. The need is huge for local volunteers!

Lord lead me, guide me, move me. I no longer want to be still.
Lord I pray that I may die to myself so that I may live for You. That I may live with reckless abandon. Amen.

For my Ej update, today was another bad day. I know we have bad days and good days, so I am hoping tomorrow he makes up for it. He ate no baby food and barely nursed today. He is refusing all formula at this point. I called in to the Dr. and let them know what has been going on. I am waiting to hear back on whether they want to continue this way until the 21st, or go ahead and change to a different plan. I will let you all know!
Oh and speaking of you all....
I want to thank you sincerely for all the kind and uplifting comments, emails, and prayers. You have no idea how amazing you are. I am just so thankful.
Also, I am about 60% today already and I have never recovered this quickly from mastitis. I think I can attribute that to a little thing called prayer. :)
Thank you all so much. You truly are friends in Christ!


Elizabeth said...

You are so right. I needed that reminder that we can still do things to serve locally. Hope tomorrow is better day for sweet ej!

E. Williamson said...

OK, this may sound strange because I am sure that you have DONE everything.. but have you tried "Dream Feeding". When EJ is completely asleep, with the bottle. They are supposed to eat without actually being aware they are eating. Just a thought... Though I am certain that you know your baby WAY better than anyone else.

nault's nook said...

Lol, funny you mention that! I tell the drs he nurses best while asleep and they look ate like I'm crazy! Yes we do nurse that way but he won't latch on to bottle even while asleep. Something I'm looking into is the little tube that you place at your breat so they eat from that at the same time they nurse. I don't know what it is called though. Thank you for the great advise though!

Jess said...

So sorry to about your mastitis--what a bummer! I'm glad to hear that it has turned around quickly, though. I hope the little man is picking back up with the nursing!

As for the rest--beautifully written, encouraging, challenging thoughts, as always!

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